“That’s simply the way he is. Just don’t find yourself alone in an elevator with him!”
We heard this from a CEO who received advice about a key donor during her first day on the job. She was receiving “the talk” so many Jewish professionals have heard before, as if to explain away predatory behavior as the cost of doing business.
In listening to clients and confidants, we have learned that inappropriate sexual behaviors and repugnant power dynamics are playing out not only in Hollywood or government, but in the Jewish communal space as well.
What have we heard? The floodgates are open — and for the most part, we didn’t even have to ask:
Organizations recruiting female development professionals primarily on the basis of their looks and attractiveness to funders.
Philanthropists spreading malicious rumors about women who won’t yield to their advances, who attend meetings while positioning their hands on women’s thighs, or who proposition sexual favors in exchange for donations.
Organizational leaders describing their employees in inappropriate ways to funding partners, such as ascribing value to younger, female employees based on how “presentable” the person is (as a euphemism for “attractive”).
Inappropriate comments from donors that are met with these kinds of excuses from professional leadership: “He’s just an old man, he’s from a different generation” or “He’s Israeli, it’s a different culture.” These excuses not only diminish /negate the woman’s experience, but dismiss the behavior as acceptable.
Representatives of national organizations saying inappropriate things when running local training sessions for professionals.
Donors, when meeting front-line program staff, converting a handshake to a kiss on the cheek, saying, “I’ll never turn down a kiss from a pretty lady.”
Inviting attractive young women to meet with a “gentleman’s club” of donors to talk about how impactful their gifts have been where some of the “gentlemen” think it’s OK to be “overfriendly.” Many of these young women may not yet know how to assert boundaries, nor do they feel like they have the power to do so.
We have heard these stories firsthand — within the past year alone. In truth, we know Jewish professionals — leaders and otherwise — have heard this for years. In a brief informal survey of 10 female CEOs, six reported they had experienced sexual harassment on the job.
Enough! It’s time to stop this abhorrent and unacceptable behavior, as well as organizational cultures that allow it to persist.
Over the past weeks, our parashahs have told about Sodom and Gomorrah, Lot and his daughters, Abraham pretending Sarah is his sister (presumably without her consent), mistreating Hagar, and a host of other vignettes that suggest inappropriate behavior. We can find a lot in these passages. While we acknowledge that much has already been said, there is still more that we can teach when we revisit these narratives each year.
To those who have been put into compromising positions, the survivors: We hear you. We believe you.
Here is our call to leadership: Hear them. Believe them. We know you have the capacity to be bold and do the right thing. We know that many of you have sexual harassment policies in place at your organizations. While this is a great first step, it is not enough. You cannot hide behind policies that have no teeth. Employees need to know what policies are on the books — and what specific safeguards are in place. They need to feel empowered to report harassment to supervisors, human resources professionals or ombudspeople. They need to know that your organization has a culture where inappropriate behavior is not tolerated, where there will be no backlash for reporting and where employees are assured they will not encounter the same situation again.
We know that in many cases, such as those described above, the perpetrator may not work at the organization, such as a volunteer, who would potentially bypass even the most comprehensive workplace sexual harassment policies. As leaders, you still have the power to:
Call it out, name it, and declare it indefensible when you see it.
Have the courage to refuse gifts. And say why.
Write and enforce covenants of appropriate behavior between donors and organizations. This goes both ways: If a funder hears something about a grantee, will the funder say something? If a grantee hears something about a funder, will the grantee act?
We know that if an organization has an unsupportive culture, employees are much less likely to feel safe in their work or in reporting inappropriate behavior. Are you doing all you can to ensure that our institutions are great places to work? Do your team members feel you have their backs when they need to take action?
Deuteronomy reminds us: Tzedek, tzedek, tirdof. Justice, justice, [we] shall pursue. It is time to act.