[an error occurred while processing this directive]		Chef-turned-comic will dish up laughs at Kung Pao RONNIE COHEN Bulletin Correspondent Everything in her life is grist for comic Cory Kahaney's joke mill. And being Jewish tops the list. "I married a Jewish man," the 40-year-old comic says of her recent second marriage during a telephone interview from her Manhattan home. "So you know what that means? It means I have to hire someone named Carlos to fix anything around the house." Kahaney will perform her stand-up act -- along with comics Jeffrey Ross, Eddie Sarfaty and Lisa Geduldig -- during the 10th anniversary of Kung Pao Kosher Comedy at New Asia Restaurant in San Francisco Monday to Thursday, Dec. 23 to 26. Much of Kahaney's shtick centers on her 18-year-old daughter, who, Kahaney says, practically writes her shows. Unintentionally, of course. "The other day, she emptied the dishwasher, which is like an annual act," Kahaney says. "And she said, 'Do I get a cell phone now?' "And I said: 'What happens when you take out the garbage? Do you get a Mercedes?'" Like her daughter, Kahaney grew up in a home filled with laughter. Her family made annual trips to Grossinger's, the Jewish humor capital in New York's Catskill Mountains. Her mother used to keep friends and relatives in stitches by impersonating celebrities. "She used to do a killer Sid Caesar when we were growing up," Kahaney says. "My father, he was a very dry wit. He would not wait for the laugh. I incorporate a lot of voices and a lot of one-liners as well." She trots out a bunch. "If you've never purchased Sweet'N Low in your entire life, you might be a Jew. "If you still refer to the foot doctor as a chiropodist, you might be a Jew. "If you celebrated every special occasion in your entire life in a Chinese restaurant, you might be a Jew. "If you're comfortable with the word ungepotsch, you might be a Jew." Last year, Kahaney received the Backstage Bistro Award for best comedian in New York City. In 1998, she won the Manhattan Association of Cabaret Award for outstanding female comedian. Her television credits include ABC's "The View" and "The Martin Short Show." She was a regular on "Politically Incorrect." Maybe that's why she can joke about the terrorist attacks. "You know," she says, "I think it's helping everyone to be a better person. When a homeless person asks, 'Can you spare a quarter,' I used to keep walking. Now, I turn around and say, 'No, I can't.'" The attacks have been a boon for the joke business, Kahaney says. "People are seeking out comedy because they want to laugh." Kahaney also is trying to capitalize on another unfortunate situation, one much easier to laugh about -- Martha Stewart's fall from grace. Stewart learned about Kahaney when the New York Observer wrote up the comedian's September wedding to a New York lawyer who tried Nazi war criminals for the U.S. Justice Department. The announcement explained that Kahaney used to be a chef. She studied cooking in Paris and spent the better part of her adult life in the catering business before some waitress friends conned her into standing up in front of an open-comedy mike nine years ago. Martha's scouts saw Kahaney as a possible front for a magazine called Everyday Food, Kahaney says. She made a pilot television show for Stewart. But, the comic says, "It didn't quite go my way. They basically put me through all these hoops to have something else to focus on through the scandal." Stewart's people bristled when Kahaney even began to approach the line separating G and PG ratings. "They would get nervous with the slightest bit of edge. I'm cooking with a guy who's an incredible chef, and I tasted the food, and I asked, 'Are you happily married?' They said, 'Cut.'" Stewart may have pooh-poohed Kahaney's humor, but the comedian is banking on others laughing about her connection with the scandal-tarnished diva of homes and gardens. So did she actually meet Stewart? Kahaney won't say. She's hoping to keep her secret under wraps and drum up enthusiasm for her one-woman tell-all show called "My Martha Moment." In the meantime, she'll be dishing up one-liners at Kung Pao Kosher Comedy over the Christmas holiday. "Although we don't celebrate the birth of Christ, Christmas has become a chance for Jews to get together," Kahaney says. "We've kind of beat them at their own game." Kung Pao Kosher Comedy runs at 6 and 9:30 p.m. Monday through Thursday, Dec. 23 to 26 at New Asia Restaurant, 772 Pacific Ave., S.F. (Dec. 25 performances start at 5 and 8:30 p.m.) Tickets and information: www.koshercomedy.com or (415) 522-3737.

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