Jokes

Thursday, November 29, 2012 | by

A visit to grandma’s

Last December, a grandmother was giving directions to her grown grandson who was coming to visit with his wife. “You come to the front door of the apartment complex. I am in apartment 14T.”

She continued: “There is a big panel at the door. With your elbow push button 14T. I will buzz you in. Come inside, the elevator is on the right. Get in, and with your elbow hit 14. When you get out I am on the left. With your elbow, hit my doorbell.”

“Grandma, that sounds easy,” replied the grandson, “but why am I hitting all these buttons with my elbow”?

To which she answered, “You’re coming empty handed?”


Noah’s lark

Q. Which animal on Noah’s Ark had the highest level of intelligence?

A. The giraffe.

Q. Why did Noah have to punish and discipline the chickens on the ark?

A. Because they were using fowl language.

Q. On the ark, Noah probably got milk from the cows. What did he get from the ducks?

A. Quackers.

Q: Who was the greatest financier in the Bible?

A: Noah. He was floating his stock while everyone else was in

liquidation.

Q: What kind of lights were on the ark?

A: Floodlights.

Q: Did all the animals on the ark come in pairs?

A: No the worms came in apples.

Q: Why didn’t Noah go fishing?

A: He had only two worms.

Q: How do we know that they played cards in the ark?

A: Because Noah sat on the deck.

Q: What animal could Noah not trust?

A: The cheetah.

Q: What money did Noah carry into the ark?

A: Bucks and doe.

Q: Why were the horses aboard the ark pessimistic?

A: They were always saying neigh.