Jokes
Friday, September 1, 2006 | by jokesThe wrong fit
O’Brien kept nudging his friend Cohen to let him play at his Jewish country club. Cohen told him that only Jews could play golf there.
But O’Brien drove him crazy for months, so Cohen finally gave in — but warned him that if anyone asked, his name was Goldberg. If asked what his occupation was, he was a clothing manufacturer. O’Brien asked what kind of clothing he should make, and Cohen told him to say that he made tallits.
Sure enough, after playing 18 holes, he was approached by one of the members, who said that he hadn’t seen O’Brien before, and asked his name.
O’Brien replied, “My name is Goldberg.”
“What do you do for a living, Mr. Goldberg?”
He replied, “I’m a clothing manufacturer.”
“What kind of clothing do you make?” the member asked.
“I make tallits.”
“You know, I always wanted to know what the Hebrew letters on the neck of the tallit meant. Can you tell me?”
O’Brien said, “To tell you the truth, I only make the sleeves.”
Shocking read
Abe is sitting on a bench in Golden Gate Park reading an anti-Semitic newspaper. His friend Solomon walks by, sees the paper, and stops in shock.
“What are you doing reading that paper?” Solomon asks. “You should be reading j.!”
Abe replies, “J. has stories about intermarriage, anti-Semitism, problems in Israel — all kinds of troubles for the Jewish people. I like to read about good news. This anti-Semitic paper says the Jews have all the money ... the Jews control the banks ... the Jews control the press ... the Jews control Hollywood. Better to read nothing but good news!”