Do you dread receptions, banquets and other business-related social events? Does attending another open house make you want to run and hide? You’re not alone.
Many of us are apprehensive about these situations. Entering rooms where we don’t know anyone can cause anxiety. Keeping a conversation going during such occasions can be an ordeal.
The ability to talk easily with anyone is a learned skill, not a personality trait. Acquiring it will help you develop rapport with people and leave a positive impression that lasts longer than an exchange of business cards.
Here are a few tips business professionals use to improve their small talk skills:
• Be the first to say hello.
• Introduce yourself. Act as if you’re the host and introduce new arrivals to your conversational partner or partners.
• Smile first and always shake hands when you meet anyone.
• Take your time during introductions. Make an extra effort to remember names and use them frequently in the conversation.
• Maintain eye contact. Many people in a group of three or more people look around in the hope that others will maintain eye contact on our behalf. But people don’t feel listened to if you’re not looking at them.
• Get somebody to talk about why they’re attending the event, and you are on your way to engaging them in conversation.
• Show an interest. The more interest you show, the more interesting you become.
• Listen carefully for information that can keep the conversation going.
• Remember: People want to be with people who make them feel special. Take responsibility to make people feel as if they’re the only person in the room.
• Play the conversation game. When someone asks, “How’s business?” and “What’s going on?” answer with more than “Pretty good” or “Not much.” Tell more about yourself so that others can learn more about you.
• Don’t interrogate. Questions like “What do you do,” “Are you married,” “Do you have children,” and “Where are you from?” lead to dead-end conversations.
• Be aware of body language. Being nervous or ill-at-ease makes others uncomfortable. Act confident, even when you’re not.
• Be prepared. Spend a few minutes before an event preparing to talk easily about three topics. They will come in handy when you find yourself in the middle of an awkward moment.
• Stop conversation monopolists in their tracks. If possible, wait for the person to take a breath or to pause, then break in with a comment about their topic. Immediately redirect the conversation in the direction you wish it to go.
• Be prepared with exit lines. You need to move around and meet others.
• Don’t shy away from conversations. Make a positive impression by shaking hands and saying goodbye as you leave.
With practice, you can learn how to make the most of meetings, interviews and networking events or of entertaining clients at conventions, trade shows and other work-related functions. You’ll learn to appreciate, rather than dread, networking events.
Debra Fine is a former engineer living in Denver who works nationwide as a speaker and trainer presenting “The Fine Art of Small Talk.”