Susan Shapiro never intended to be a matchmaker. But with five marriages under her belt, she calls herself “a fix-up fanatic.” She writes about her “Addiction to the Fine Art of Matchmaking” in the Forward: www.forward.com/issues/ 1998/98.01.09/fastforward.html
Her career as an amateur matchmaker really began as a matter of necessity when it dawned on her that the guy she was dating, “whose life’s dream was to drive a Lamborghini to his estate in the Hamptons,” was a far better match for her friend Rachel. The two of them were married six months later. Now that Susan herself is married, she loves her role as matchmaker even more. “I get the voyeuristic thrill of dating and mating monthly without risking rejection, diseases or unwanted pregnancy.”
Sherry Singer is a 36-year-old professional shadchan (matchmaker) in Los Angeles who, along with her mother, Eva, has been making matches for 15 years. The L.A. Jewish Journal story is at www.jewishjournal.com/archive/08.04.00/singleswills.08.04.00.html
The mother-daughter team focuses on secular, Reform and Conservative Jews and claims responsibility for more than 300 marriages. The two have a Web site — www.meetamate.com — and serve the L.A.-Orange County area.
If all this talk of matchmakers makes you long for the song from “Fiddler,” you can listen to “Matchmaker, Matchmaker” at http://wilstar.com/midi/matchmaker.htm If you want to sing along, here are the full lyrics: http://members.btis.com.au/bennyt/ matchmaker.html
For an insightful portrait on how matchmakers have made the leap from the shtetl to the 21st century, check out Sharon Pomerantz’s “Playing with Matches” in Hadassah magazine — www.hadassah.org/news/junejuly00/ matches.htm She tells the story of the resolve of one client and her matchmaker, Judi Ehrlich. “My longest-standing client was seven years. He met over 80 women and he married number 82,” Ehrlich tells Pomerantz. “People liked him and the fact that he kept persevering was encouraging. I’m glad he didn’t give up.”
What about the clients of the matchmakers? Martin Bodek lives in New York and seems to have had his share of matchmakers and dating. His stories are at http://members.aol.com/thebodie/ #narc You can follow Martin through several articles in which he writes about his Date Jitters. I liked another of his articles called “How to Find Your Bashert.” (A bashert — also spelled beshert — is your intended or destined love.)
Bodek takes a mathematical approach to love and starts with the more than 6 billion human beings in the world. Things start to get a bit tense as he whittles down the number and rules out practically everybody out there as a potential match. But then he ends on an optimistic note when he scientifically “proves” that there is one person in the world for you: “Your bashert, your soulmate, your life partner. He/she’s just around the corner! Go get him/her!”
By the way, it seems that Martin really is a romantic at heart. One way he says thanks for a lovely evening is by sending off a big bouquet of virtual flowers — actually an e-mail of a picture of some flowers; his links to flower sites are at http://members.aol.com/ thebodie/#cards
Looking for love can be wonderful — and painful. Especially if you’ve been hooked up with the wrong matchmaker along the way. Michael Jacobs has been there and has founded “The official Shidduch Survivors’ Club,” at www.geocities.com/paris/louvre/ 3376/index.htm He includes tips about how to find the right shadchan. “Good Sign: Keeps notes on a printed form. Bad Sign: Scribbles on the back of cigarette packets.” And to let you know that you are not alone in your quest, there is a selection of Shidduch Horror Stories — like what to do when you realize that your blind date is someone you’ve already dated.
By the way, perseverance has paid off for Jacobs. “After literally years of searching,” he met Tamara Shira Hershfield. Following a whirlwind five-week courtship, they were engaged. They are now married and living, along with their son, Reuven Leibel, in Ramat Beit Shemesh, Israel. Their story — and pictures of their 1-year-old baby — are at www.geocities.com/soho/gallery/6679
Mazel tov!