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Message: <br /><br /> If you are having trouble reading this email, you may view this article online at: http://www.jweekly.com/41525/full/41525/jokes16/ <br /><br /> <b>jokes</b> <br /> Thursday, March 4, 2010 | by <br /><br /><p><strong>What to do?</strong></p> <p>Frantic that her 18-year-old daughter might be pregnant, a mother goes out and buys a pregnancy test kit. Sure enough, Fannie has been knocked up.</p> <p>Shouting and crying, the mother says, “Who was the pig that did this to you? I want to know!”</p> <p>Without answering, the Fannie picks up the phone and makes a call. Half an hour later a Mercedes stops in front of their house. A man with gray hair and a yarmulke steps out and enters the house.</p> <p>He sits in the living room with the father, mother and Fannie and tells them, “Your daughter has informed me of the problem. I can’t marry her because of my personal family situation, but I’ll take charge. I will pay all costs and provide for your daughter for the rest of her life.</p> <p>“Additionally, if a girl is born, I will bequeath two retail furniture stores, a deli, a condo in Miami and a $1 million bank account.</p> <p>“If a boy is born, my legacy will be a chain of jewelry stores and a $25 million bank account.</p> <p>“However, if there is a miscarriage, I’m not sure what to do. What do you suggest?”</p> <p>The mother, who had remained silent until now, places a hand firmly on the man’s shoulder and tells him, “So you’ll try again.”</p> <p><strong><br />The small portions</strong></p> <p>Aaron and his family are in the middle of their meal at Minky’s Deli when Aaron calls over the manager.</p> <p>“I have a complaint to make,” Aaron says. “I haven’t eaten here for quite some time, and I notice that the portions you’re now serving are a lot smaller than they used to be.”</p> <p>“That’s impossible sir,” the manager says. “You see, since you were last here, we’ve spent a lot of money enlarging the restaurant. So although the portion on your plate might appear to look smaller, it’s only an optical illusion.”</p> <p>© david minkoff</p>

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