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Message: <br /><br /> If you are having trouble reading this email, you may view this article online at: http://www.jweekly.com/40733/full/40733/for-a-stress-free-holiday-keep-family-time-simple/ <br /><br /> <b>For a stress-free holiday, keep family time simple</b> <br /> Thursday, December 3, 2009 | by salvatore caputo <br /><br /><p>It’s easy to feel sudden panic at the headlong rush to New Year’s Day that began with last week’s “Black Friday.” Even though Jews don’t celebrate Christmas, Dr. Tanya Feinberg, an Arizona psychiatrist, says that many of her Jewish patients get as caught up in the December holiday hype as Christians do.</p> <p>Feinberg practices psychiatry in Scottsdale, Ariz., and focuses on children and adolescents — although, she notes, “when I say I treat children, I really treat families. I work with the parents and the kids.”</p> <div class="capDivLeft" style="width: 126px;"><img alt="CHANholiday blues" class="left" height="163" src="/images/uploads/z_photos_2009/c12_04_09/CHANholiday blues.jpg" title="Dr. Tanya Feinberg" width="126" /> <div class="caption">Dr. Tanya Feinberg</div> </div> Defining “holiday blues” as a range of reactions — from stress to depression — stemming from the enormous expectations of the season, which includes gift-oriented Chanukah celebrations, Feinberg says, “I don’t think that these days are a less busy or less hectic time for my Jewish patients.” <p>For intermarried families who celebrate both Chanukah and Christmas, holiday stress can be doubled, she says.</p> <p>It’s normal to feel some stress during the holidays, Feinberg says, because the family gatherings, office parties, travel and shopping pack the month of December with a flurry of activity.</p> <p>“A lot of it is unavoidable,” she says, but adds that people can diminish the stress by managing expectations.</p> <p>“I think it’s really important, regardless of the economy, to decrease expectations about gifts and parties and how much we’re going to do, and to keep things more simple, more like the norm of the rest of the year.”</p> <p>Feinberg’s prescription?</p> <p>“Start decreasing the expectations now,” she says. “The sooner you do it, the easier your holidays will be over the years.</p> <p>“I know families where every night of Chanukah means a big dinner and big present,” she adds. “But each night can be special without having to be about a big dinner and a big present.” She suggests big presents and dinner one night and then smaller celebrations like a family game night or a movie night.</p> <p>She also suggests learning to say “no.”</p> <p>“You don’t have to go to every single holiday function,” she says. “You might be happier staying at home with your family.”</p> <p>And leaving out a tradition or two is OK. “It’s not worth the time or your mental health to stress out over decorating,” for instance, when you could be spending relaxed time with family.</p> <p>Besides stress over a packed schedule, holiday expectations can produce sadness or full-fledged depression, Feinberg says. Many people expect to be with family during holidays, she says, but distance or work schedules can keep people apart.</p> <p>“Do your best to continue self-care during the holidays — continue to exercise, don’t drink [alcohol] or eat a lot more just because it’s the holidays,” she says, “and make sure to get enough sleep. That’s huge. So many patients I see who are depressed also have sleep problems.”</p> <p>It’s perfectly normal to feel a little stressed, irritable and even overwhelmed at times during the holidays, Feinberg says.</p> <p>What’s not normal?</p> <p>“Symptoms of depression,” she says. “If you find that there’s no enjoyment, only stress and worry, that you pretty much have no energy, no interest in participating and are withdrawing, or are crying alone … that’s beyond what most people feel this time of year.”</p> <p>She urges those who see such symptoms in themselves to seek counseling, whether a psychiatrist or a psychologist.</p> <p>In addition, she encourages people who see a friend or loved one distressed over the holidays to listen and to eventually encourage them to seek help as well.</p> <p>For more information, Feinberg recommends visiting the Web sites of the National Alliance on Mental Illness (<a href="http://www.nami.org">http://www.nami.org</a>) and the American Psychological Association (<a href="http://www.apa.org">http://www.apa.org</a>).</p>

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