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An intermarried Jew is not necessarily a ‘Lost Jew’

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Message: If you are having trouble reading this email, you may view this article online at: http://www.jweekly.com/40411/full/40411/an-intermarried-jew-is-not-necessarily-a-lost-jew/ An intermarried Jew is not necessarily a ‘Lost Jew’ Thursday, November 5, 2009 | by Edmund C. Case Claims by the Jewish Agency’s Natan Sharansky that Israeli Jews need to understand Jewish life in the diaspora better (“Do diaspora and Israeli Jews need each other?,” Oct. 30) are welcome. But what do Israelis need to know about intermarriage — and who is going to tell them? <div class="capDivLeft" style="width: 126px;"><img alt="Vcase, edmun" class="left" height="186" src="/images/uploads/z_photos_2009/g11_06_09/Vcase, edmun.jpg" title="Edmund C. Case" width="126" /> <div class="caption">Edmund C. Case</div> </div> The Jewish Agency’s MASA program, which brings young Jews to Israel for sustained periods of work, study and volunteering, ran an ad campaign in Israel in September called “Lost Jews.” One TV ad paired photos of young Jews on posters of missing persons with the statement that “over 50 percent of Jews abroad are assimilating.” The ad drew a firestorm of criticism on blogs and in news reports, and the Jewish Agency quickly killed it. But by implicitly equating assimilation and intermarriage, the MASA ad expressed a misconception that appears frequently in the English-language Israeli press. All agree that assimilation — the loss of Jewish identity and connection — is terrible. But intermarriage does not necessarily result in loss of Jewish identity. To the contrary, intermarriage is already enlarging American Jewish communities. The 2005 Boston Jewish Community Survey found that 60 percent of interfaith families are raising their children as Jews, and concluded that “although intermarriage is generally presumed to have a negative impact on the size of the Jewish population, in Boston it appears to have increased [it].” In addition, more than 25 percent of the member families in Reform synagogues are intermarried; the Reform movement has been growing in both numbers and market share. Moreover, the influx of non-Jewish partners has the potential to qualitatively enrich Jewish life. At InterfaithFamily.com, we’ve attracted thousands of personal narratives. One intermarried man wrote to his father about his young daughter, “Dad, you won’t believe this, but she speaks Hebrew. She goes to synagogue and observes Shabbat. She almost knows more about our people and our religion than I do, probably because she pays more attention in services than I ever did. She is a Jew, Dad. I want you to know that.” Many people tell us that because they are in interfaith relationships, they work harder at their Jewish involvement. Many intermarried parents recognize the importance of giving children a single religious identity, and there are particular aspects of Jewish life that appeal to them. One person wrote: “I enjoyed the Jewish encouragement of asking and answering questions. I am still fascinated that through the guidance of texts, traditions and teachers, I have the freedom to question my religion and search for answers.” Intermarriage also has the potential to increase support for Israel in America. The entire extended family of the non-Jewish partner becomes related to a Jew, and to that extent connected with the Jewish community. Many young adult children with one Jewish parent are interested enough to participate in growing numbers in Birthright Israel trips, returning to America with strengthened Jewish identity. One non-Jewish wife on an Israel Encounter interfaith couples’ trip told us that when the tour director greeted the group by welcoming them “home,” she bristled, thinking, “I do not agree with the politics of this country and this is not my home.” “But by the end of the trip, I felt as though I was leaving my extended family, leaving my home. I am carrying this momentum with me back to Atlanta,” she said. “For the first time in I am embarrassed to admit how long, we went to Shabbat services. It just seemed right after being in Jerusalem for our last Shabbat. … I am also attempting to learn Hebrew. I am determined to read and speak some basic Hebrew when we return ‘home.’ ” Israelis don’t have a monopoly on viewing intermarriage as a danger; there are North American critics of the Boston survey and of the Reform movement. Rabbi Norman Lamm’s hateful comment that Reform has grown by “add[ing] goyim to Jews” suggests that he would write off the young woman who now thinks of Israel as “home.” So it is very important in providing Israelis with information about Jewish life in North America that some of the perspectives come from people who consider intermarriage not a threat but an opportunity that cries out for a positive response. The “Lost Jews” ad was interpreted in the United States as attacking mixed marriages, and that generated a very negative reaction. People will not be attracted to a community, a country or a way of life if they do not feel welcomed. Helping Israelis to learn not to think and talk about intermarriage as the equivalent of assimilation will contribute to increased Jewish identity and connection among intermarried families — something that is of vital interest to the Jewish communities of both North America and Israel. Edmund C. Case is the CEO of Massachusetts-based InterfaithFamily.com. This piece first appeared in the Jerusalem Post.

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