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Message: <br /><br /> If you are having trouble reading this email, you may view this article online at: http://www.jweekly.com/38481/full/38481/deceptively-non-jewish-names/ <br /><br /> <b>Deceptively non-Jewish names</b> <br /> Tuesday, June 30, 2009 | by samuel raphael franco <br /><br /><p>Back in the good old days, when the Dodgers were in Brooklyn, the Giants were still in New York, a pizza cost a nickel, and the big band swing was king, it was much easier to identify someone's ethnic heritage by their name.  </p> <div>If we fast forward to today's world of the future, where we've already traveled in space and a computer doesn't take up the space of an entire room, and people are suddenly marrying from outside the shtetl, the picture is becomes more muddled. People say to me, Franco, you're Italian then, right paisano? Not quite, bro.<br /> </div> <div></div> <div></div> <div></div> <div></div> <div>Considering today's puzzling picture of identity, I proudly present to you the most deceptive non-Jewish famous names:</div> <div></div> <div></div> <div></div> <div> <p>Whoopi Goldberg: Sure, this might not be a real name at all, but maybe the last name Goldberg was what it took to get Whoopi's foot in the door of comedy. I think Whoopi comes from the PC way of saying sex on the dating game.</p> <p>israel Kamakawiwo'ole: The last name might be a giveaway to his non-Jewish status. Still, the name is appropriate, as the man is about the size of Israel.</p> <p>DJ Sasha: This famous welsh house producer is neither a woman, nor Jewish. Sigh.</p> <p>Avi- Newberry Prize winning author 'Avi' shares a name with many a sabra. He's even from Brooklyn. I wonder if people nowadays will begin to think it's short for Avigdor.  </p> <p>Bruce Springsteen- The mumbling bumbling roots legend was born in Jersey, an Italian-American Roman Catholic. His surname is dutch, meaning stepping stone, which is why the suffix is 'een' not 'ein.' </p> <p>John Lowenstein- When the ballplayer Lowenstein came up with the Cleveland Indians, the organist at Muncipal Stadium used to play “Hava Nagila” when he came to bat, assuming that he was Jewish.  Informed that he wasn’t, the organist began playing “Jesus Christ Superstar” before Lowenstein’s at bats instead.</p> <p>Julius Erving- Julius Erving has two Jewish first names in Julius and Erving. The fact that he's referred to as a doctor only adds to the deception. </p> <p>Caspar Weinberger- The ghostly secretary of defense is best known for his blunders with Strategic Defense Initiative (also known as star wars) and the Iran Contra affair. His grandparents were Jewish, but he became an active Episcopalian member of Reagan's bible thumping revolution.</p> <p>George M. Cohan- "The man who owned broadway" and vaudeville pioneer jump-started the careers of much of New York's Jewry, but was not involved himself. His last name is particularly deceptive when spoken, and not spelled. </p> <p>John Goodman- Walter Sobchak in the Big Lebowski may have been Jewish, but it doesn't mean that Goodman is.</p> <p>Herschel Walker- The Heisman trophy winner turned olympic bobsledder now claims to suffer from dissociative personality disorder. Maybe one of his new invented identities can be Jewish.</p> <p>Joy Behar- Behar is one of the most popular Latino-Jewish surnames. While she was married to a Jewish man, and speaks with a strong New York accent, her birthname is Josephina Victoria Occhiuto. All three names end in vowels, can we finally set this to rest?</p> <p>Edwin Moses- Moses went nine years, nine months, and nine days without losing a single race in the hurdles, a feat as difficult as forty years in the desert.</p> <p>Saul Williams- The poet, philosopher, and hip hop innovator's name can be considered even more deceptively Jewish when paired with his recent release, the Dead Emcee Scrolls.</p> <p> </p> <p>Honorable Mention for Achievement in Jewish Names for Non-Jewish Inanimate Objects:</p> <p>Salomon Ski Equipment- The anointed king of skis.</p> <p>The Berenstain Bears- Bears don't practice religion, silly!</p> <p>The Freedman's Bureau- For freed slaves after the civil war, not kosher food.</p> <p>Baruch College- A secular city college in NY, often judged unfairly by what city college rhymes with.</p> <p>Zion National Park- It's in Utah for crying out loud.</p> <p> </p> <p>If you have any deceptively non-Jewish names you'd like to contribute to this little game, shoot me an email: <a href="mailto:samuel@jweekly.com">samuel@jweekly.com</a></p> <p>And remember, don't do anything I wouldn't do!</p> </div>

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