There’s really no easy way to abandon matrimonial plans, but there is a right way and a wrong way. The sooner, the better is the rule when it comes to informing everyone involved of a change of heart.
According to Catherine White, wedding expert on www.ultimatewedding.com, you should enlist friends and family to help with emotional support and to deal with the logistics of formally canceling a wedding.
Guests should be notified first. “If you have not sent out invitations yet, letting close friends and family members know that the wedding was canceled is enough notification,” White says. “From there, the news will trickle down to people who would have been guests at your wedding.”
If invitations have gone out and you have time, a formal note about the cancellation should be mailed out. If there’s not enough time for that, enlist the help of family and call your guests.
Nobody needs to explain why the wedding will not take place, White said, but be prepared that many guests will ask.
Return all gifts with a thank-you note and immediately return the engagement ring.
Etiquette expert Peggy Post says the only “but” in this case is if the ring is a family heirloom of the bride’s. Although some say the bride should keep the ring if the groom calls off the wedding, she disagrees.
“Why keep a painful reminder of the end of an engagement just to be spiteful? It’s better to take the high road and move on. The bride should also return any other presents of value her fiance has given her, and he should return her gifts as well.”
Cancel services booked for your wedding, but expect to lose some money, depending on how close you are to the date.