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Message: <br /><br /> If you are having trouble reading this email, you may view this article online at: http://www.jweekly.com/17419/full/17419/palo-alto-mother-and-son-become-b-nai-mitzvah-together/ <br /><br /> <b>Palo Alto mother and son become b’nai mitzvah together</b> <br /> Friday, March 8, 2002 | by <p>JOSHUA BRANDT </p> <br /><br /><p>When David Bergen and his mother, Rhoda, became b'nai mitzvah last fall, it was a homecoming in more ways than one. For David the experience provided an opportunity to build a bridge with his daughter, who will be 13 this year. And for Rhoda it was an opportunity to reconnect with memories that had laid dormant for decades.<br /><br /> The Bergens were among more than a dozen students to graduate from a b'nai mitzvah class for adults taught by Rabbi Ari Cartun of Independent Congregation Etz Chayim. Both mother and son, who live in Palo Alto, say the experience brought an end to many years of observing Judaism from the sidelines; though always intrigued by the religion, neither had made the commitment to further his or her education.<br /><br /> David Bergen, 47, was raised in a secular environment by his mother and father, who identifies as a confirmed atheist. Although he wasn't raised in a particularly religious household, however, Bergen did have a strong Jewish identity by virtue of attending the Sholem Aleichem school, where he was given Yiddish lessons and was steeped in Jewish culture.<br /><br /> After his 13th birthday celebration ("There was a party at a pool; I spoke a little, and I was given a certificate," he recalled with a chuckle) Bergen's thirst for Jewish knowledge waned considerably. In fact, Bergen's renewed interest in his heritage may not have surfaced had it not been for the birth of his daughter.<br /><br /> Both Bergen and his wife, Rhea Feldman, wanted to provide their daughter with a Jewish education. But they wanted to do this from an "honest" perspective and felt they lacked sufficient knowledge of Judaism to do so, he explained. The couple believed it was imperative that they themselves understand the rituals and traditions before trying to teach their daughter, Beth. She is rapidly approaching her own bat mitzvah and has been preparing for the milestone ritual with her parents.<br /><br /> Palo Alto's Etz Chayim, said Bergen, "is really informal and warm, and after a stressful day of work, you can just let things go and sing. It's a really comforting place to rediscover my Jewish roots. I got scared a few times, but repetition breeds success."<br /><br /> For Rhoda Bergen, 77, the b'nai mitzvah were possibly even more profound. Not only did she go through the ceremony with her son, but also she harked back to a time when she attended a small haimish shul with her parents in New York. Her bat mitzvah also was spiritually nourishing on another level: providing her with a sense of comfort as her husband battles a serious illness.<br /><br /> "I could see that David was getting a lot of conviction and satisfaction by going to the classes [at Etz Chayim]. At the same time, I was taking care of my husband and searching for meaning and answers," she said. "We've been married for 51 years, and it felt like I was all alone. And then it's like a light switched on in my head."<br /><br /> Rhoda Bergen was raised in a Conservative and kosher household before entering her "rebellious teenage years" and consequently straying from Judaism practice. Now she has returned, even reading Hebrew flash cards with her granddaughter. The entire process—the class, the b'nai mitzvah, the reawakening of her Jewish connection—has been a "joyous" experience, she said.<br /><br /> "The congregation is very family oriented," said Rhoda Bergen. "It's like having my mother and father put their arms around me."</p> <p> </p>

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