Yo, Yenta!Also known as Jessica Leigh Lebos, the Head Yenta is a wife, mother, writer, spoken word poet, West African dance teacher, community activist, amateur social scientist and former Bay Area resident, now living on a barrier island off the coast of Georgia. She aims to break down stereotypes about Jews in general and Jewish mothers in particular. She changes her hair color frequently.Copyright Jessica Leigh Lebos - Published at YoYenta.com, part of the Jmerica.com Network Aw Yeah, More Jewish Afro Latin FunkPermalink Leave a commentWed, 10 Mar 2010 16:30:04 | by Head Yenta
Please meet Brownout from Austin, TX, who will be kicking out their dirty jams at the SXSW festival March 18. I gotta disclaim: I first heard about Brownout when from someone’s random Facebook comment touting the band as “filthy Afro-Latin funk with a Jewish twist,” so of course, I went a’hunting for the Hebrew connection. Turns out their music isn’t specifically influenced by Shlomo Carlebach or anything, and the above album cover art design was never actually used. However, Brownout’s manager David Lobel is Jewish, as is saxophonist Josh Levy, who Lobel assures me is definitely twisted. Kosher enough for me. Here’s “Slinky” from their new album Aguilas and Cobras: The Backyard and Other Exotic LocationsPermalink Leave a commentMon, 08 Mar 2010 19:14:18 | by Head Yenta
Growing one’s own organic food seems like the most worthwhile aspiration I can imagine, and every year our backyard garden endeavor gets more ambitious. Actual acreage might be a pipe dream for now, but El Yenta Man and I have been quite busy with our homesteading activities as of late: I’m tending to a couple of trays of sprouted tomato, cucumber and pepper seedlings like they’re endangered polar bear cubs, spritzing them with water every few hours and cooing over them. Much to my mother’s horror, I’ve decided that we also need our own chickens. The kids are ecstatic since this will make our house much cooler than their friends with the trampoline. I’ve heard that chickens aren’t indoor pets and have been advised that they can’t just share the dog’s crate, so EYM has been charged with building a chicken coop. I have total faith in him in spite of the fact that the most complex structure he’s ever constructed is a pre-fab desk from OfficeMax. Photos to come. Tied as we are to our suburban agriculcha, we haven’t been anywhere but the hardware store in a while. But those close to me have been spinning ’round the planet like airports were going out of style: You may recall that my Brother the Doctor was dispatched to Haiti after last month’s earthquake as part of a government trauma team and spent two weeks tending to broken bodies in hellish conditions. He rolled through Savannah a couple of weeks later, tight-lipped about the experience other than to say it was the most disastrous situation he’d ever seen — this coming from someone who has practically lived in emergency rooms for the past decade. Hardly a fabulous travel experience, but I suppose he can cross it off his list. Speaking of life lists, my mother and father fulfilled a dream when they went to Cuba recently. As a writer and a photographer, respectively, they were chosen to be part of a cultural delegation and participate in arts exhange — pretty cool, eh? They met film directors, saw live music and attended museums, but alas for those of us hoping for souvenirs, there was no shopping to be done. Read Marcia’s article in the Phoenix Jewish News for more! Though travel to other countries sounds amazing, the Yentas are far too occupied with our own 1/4-acre adventure. And I just heard EYT swearing from outside about the wrong-sized screws, so it looks like I’ll be making my third trip to Home Depot in the last two days. That’s cool – the scenery isn’t so bad, and everyone speaks the language. Help the Yenta?Permalink Leave a commentFri, 05 Mar 2010 16:33:39 | by Head Yenta
See, unlike some bloggers who keep track of their hits and which search engine led you to click around this spillage of modern Jewish life, I have no such skillz. Once in a while my Boy Wonder Webmaster will forward on some scary looking graphy-things that show a surprising amount of traffic (I thought it was more of a suburban cul-de-sac deal; turns out it’s the busy intersection — of the only stoplight in a small town.) So I know there’s plenty of you lurking out there, which is just fine. Anonymity can sometimes be the only thing we’ve got left in this post-your-latest-indigestion-issues-on-Facebook world. But I’d like to ask you for a little favor. I’ve been bouncing around the idea of writing a book — well, a book proposal; let’s not get too famisht — and I’d super appreciate it if you would tell me what some of your favorite posts have been over the years. Maybe it’s stories about Jewish mothers have to play Santa sometimes, maybe it’s the farkakate explanations of Jewish holidays, maybe it’s the tales of Southern Jewish life. I know you’re a busy person. If there’s anything that’s stuck in your mind in your travels in Yentaland, I’d be most grateful if you let me know below. And it fools your boss into thinking you’re being productive and it makes your Friday afternoon go faster, you can sift through the piles of archives to the right of your screen. Should the heavens align and something ever makes it into print in spite of my laziness and mild narcolepsy, I will kvell ALL OVER you in the acknowledgments, promise. So think about it, maybe while you’re resting up this Shabbat, and get back to me. Oscar Watch: The Unlikeable JewPermalink Leave a commentWed, 03 Mar 2010 16:50:34 | by Head Yenta
Interestingly, Mr. Sparky Himself, Abe Foxman of The Anti-Defamation League, raised no objections to An Education, saying “there is nothing in the film to suggest that the main character represents Jews as a whole, or even some Jews.” (Although Foxy did take director Spike Lee to task for John Turturro’s sleazy club owner character in Mo’ Better Blues, released in 1990. Maybe my man Foxy’s gettin’ soft in his old age?) Perhaps it’s because more Jewish characters are making their way into mainstream films that we can become more comfortable with the idea that they can be assh*oles. L.A. Times blogger Patrick Goldstein has no patience for “the hyper-sensitivity among Jews to any portrayal of a Jew that could possibly be viewed as a negative stereotype by the outside world,” a condition suffered by previous generations — with the good reason of a two thousand year history of hateful propaganda and pogroms, after all. It’s a very recent phenomenon that a Jew wouldn’t have to be defensive of a Jewish character who seduces underage girls or was psychotically violent. I must disclaim here that I haven’t seen An Education or A Serious Man (I think there’s something super creepy about Peter Sarsgaard, and also with the exception of Raising Arizona, O Brother, Where Art Thou and The Big Lebowski, I find the Coen Brothers’ body of work immature and disturbing. I know, I know, I’m not cool) so I can’t weigh in on whether either or both films make me bristle in that way I get when people talk sh*t about Rahm Emanuel. But y’all know I love Inglourious Basterds, and didn’t mind at all seeing Jews exacting sick revenge — and as Goldstein points out, neither does anyone else. Tugend asks Professor Howard Suber of the UCLA School of Theater, Film and Television whether he thinks this Oscar season’s unlikable Jews will lead to increased anti-Semitism, and Professor Suber balks: “That’s a simplified view of how people form attitudes … In reality, films in general reflect feelings and beliefs that already exist in a society. Movies are not very effective in changing people’s minds.” I agree. I mean, if the ADL isn’t freakin’ out, then I guess all is well. Now, with three out of the ten nominees dealing with Jewish characters and none of them win, that could be a slight. But whatevs — my money’s on Precious anyway. T-Shirt of the Week: It’s Gonna Be A Long OnePermalink Leave a commentTue, 02 Mar 2010 18:25:27 | by Head Yenta
First, it’s cold and gross outside, and I’m just plumb sick of it. I know you are, too. (Except for you readers in Arizona, and I know you’ll get yours come July when the asphalt melts to your shoes.) Second, the President is in town today, which should be good for morale and fantastic for Savannah’s public relations, but has proved quite sucky for anyone attempting to traverse the Hostess City in anything less than six hours. Lastly, I am one of the hundreds of thousands of my fellow unemployed Americans whose government benefits dried up over the weekend because someone gave Senator Jim Bunning a wedgie. I’m not exactly shocked, and frankly, it was a lovely, luxurious 26 weeks that my hustling freelancy tushie had never experienced in 15-odd years of supporting myself. So it’s back to the usual hardscrabble for this Yenta, but the frigid air and locked-up traffic aren’t doing much for my motivation. Think I’ll snuggle up in this T-shirt from Zazzle.com and watch the soaps until the dignitaries split and the sun comes out. Pour ‘Em If You Got ‘EmPermalink Leave a commentFri, 26 Feb 2010 18:36:10 | by Head Yenta
Once upon a time in a borough called Shushan, there was this pervy king named Ahasuerus who wanted his queen, Vashti, to dance naked for him and all his gross friends. Vashti did right by her momma, and was all, “I don’t think so — I was not raised on the pole, thank you” so King Ass “deposed” her. Maybe that means he killed her, maybe he sent her back to her mom, we don’t know. But we do know that he went looking for a new queen, and found a lady so pretty he didn’t even care that she was from the other side of the camel’s tracks. This lady, Esther, was a nice Jewish girl and didn’t just have smokin’ looks, she had smarts, too. She got her uncle Mordecai are good job at the palace after he foiled an attempt to kill the king, but Mordecai pissed off one of the kingdom’s most important advisors, a very bad man named Haman who had silly taste in hatwear. Haman decided to punish Mordecai by devising a plan to wipe all the Jews off the map of Persia, which totally freaked everyone out — except Esther. She stayed calm and informed her husband that if he listened to this douchebag, she’d have to hang at the gallows, too. The king rightly deduced that evil politicians are far easier to replace than wives who will put up with his bullsh*t, so he ordered Haman to be hanged in the very noose meant for Mordecai. And then all the Jews lived happily ever after, or until the next pogrom. (What, you’re looking for something a little more educational? Then go here. Or here. But not here.) Now we party. ‘Cause even though this megillah isn’t in the Torah and doesn’t mention any Divine influences, we are obligated by the rabbis as good (I mean, bad, BAD!) Jews to “drink until we do not know the difference between ‘cursed be Haman’ and ‘blessed be Mordechai.’” There you have it — a Talmudic edict to get sh*tfaced. (I know my friend Uber Shiksa Chick is gonna go hogwild on this.) Anyone who’s witnessed El Yenta Man and I dressed as Queen Vashti and Bad Haman (respectively) handing a flask back and forth over the synagogue pews know that the Yenta household takes Purim very seriously. The Wild Turkey has already been poured to bring to Sunday morning services, but I assure the parents of my Shalom Schoolers that I will not be breaking it out until I safely return your children to you. After that, I take no responsibility for my actions and may have to be peeled off the bima while performing a blistering rap that combines the lyrics of Lady Gaga and “Shalom Aleichem.” Other Purim traditions involve delivering mishloach manot (bags of treats similar to Easter baskets except Jews hate pastels) and performing practical jokes. Do you think egging my in-laws’ house could count as both? Oh, and you know I can’t let a Purim pass without reposting Shabot6000’s perfectly brilliant Purim parody: Mazel Tov!Permalink Leave a commentWed, 24 Feb 2010 22:00:08 | by Head Yenta
The winning entry was chosen by a highly specific method involving asking my 6 year-old to pick a number between 1 and 50 and multiplying it by the square root of the amount of hamantaschen I ate last night while watching “American Idol.” Yum yum dee dum….and the winner is… Mindy Winn! She’s won a $30 gift certificate to the Oh Nuts online store, where she’ll stock up on her favorite choco-delights for Purim, Passover and occasional PMS. Congratulations to Mindy and thank you to all who entered! Nut Winner Announced Tomorrow!Permalink Leave a commentTue, 23 Feb 2010 23:33:23 | by Head Yenta
DO IT and you have a chance to win $30 to spend at OhNuts.com, which means a nice fat supply of some major SNACKS. Just looking at the pictures makes me drool. So all you have to do is follow the directions HERE, but most important, LEAVE YOUR EMAIL ADDRESS in the comments section (you wouldn’t believe how many people have not done that. Even if you’ve already entered, maybe you should go back and check. Seriously. Not to a noodge, but you should just make sure.) Winner announced tomorrow at 5pm EST! Quacking the CodePermalink Leave a commentTue, 23 Feb 2010 19:10:38 | by Head Yenta
So if anyone’s going to believe in Bible Codes, it’s me, right? Finding secret messages in the Torah embedded there by aliens sounds like something that would keep me up nights with a flashlight, a siddur and Art Bell on the radio. I mean, it’s been scientifically vetted, and actual rabbis teach the theory. Sure, it’s to evangelical Apocalypse mongers what the Celestine Prophecy was to flaky New Age whackdoodles, but gosh, everyone needs something to believe in. Counting letters in the Pentateuch to predict earthquakes isn’t nearly as weird as reading goat entrails or whatever. Except I picked up Michael Drosnin’s bestselling book the other day on the bargain table at Barnes & Noble and I have to say I think I could probably make the same connections if I smoked some weed and got down with my daughter’s Hello Kitty wordfind. I may be getting cynical in my old age, though I am always open to listening to your conspiracy rants in the comments section. However, I must should out a big, wet todah raba to reader Darren for tipping me off to ShalomStacy’s blog, who shows there are still many Jewish mysteries to be explained. For instance, there is clearly a secret mission being carried out via all Mac-to-Microsoft software icons to subliminally teach basic Hebrew to those who come in contact with its interface. How else to explain THIS?
Love Nuts?Permalink Leave a commentFri, 19 Feb 2010 17:32:58 | by Head Yenta
The very crunchy, fun people at OhNuts must be as meshuggeneh than I am, because they’re giving away at $30 gift certificate to one lucky Yo, Yenta! reader in honor of the holiday of pranks, candy and silliness knows as Purim. (Yo, locals — see you at the JEA carnival on Sunday!) So my hungry friends, $30 is a lotta delish for you and your family. You can enter this contest in three, easy ways, and you don’t even have to spell “megillah”: #1: Go to the Oh Nuts Purim Basket Gift page. Pick out the tasty item that makes you salivate the most. Come back to THIS POST on Yo, Yenta! and leave a comment in the comment section with the name and the URL of said tasty item. Got that? Pick it, tell me about it here. (Mine, of course, are the Purim Chocolate Wine Bottles, because incorporating two vices in one mouthful is brilliant.) #2: Go to the Oh Nuts Facebook Page and become a fan. Post on the wall your tasty item, the URL and be sure to tell them Yo, Yenta! sent you! #3: Follow @ohnuts on Twitter and tweet daily, “Win a Purim Basket from http://bit.ly/aWXLzp Follow @ohnuts RT to Enter Daily. Oh, and I worship yoyenta.com!” Please enter via #1, then shout about it using #2 and #3. Loudest and proudest wins the sugary salty buzz of their dreams! |
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