First thing each morning, Kory Zipperstein checks the news to make sure all is calm in the Middle East. After all, his son, Caleb, serves with the Israel Defense Forces. If hostilities were to break out, Caleb could find himself on the front lines.
Zipperstein and his wife, who live in Greenbrae, have lived with equal parts pride and worry ever since their
24-year-old son moved to Israel last summer. And while lone soldiers receive extra support from the Israeli military, parents such as the Zippersteins sometimes suffer alone back home.
That’s why Friends of the Israel Defense Forces is creating a new support group for Bay Area parents of lone soldiers. An inaugural event is scheduled for Wednesday, May 22 at a private home in Atherton. All parents of IDF lone soldiers are invited.
The aim of the gathering is to help families feel less isolated by educating them about FIDF’s lone soldier program and by fostering mutual connections. A visiting lone soldier will be on hand to share his experiences.
“We’ve just started to come into contact with FIDF,” said Zipperstein. “We donated money to them last year, but we didn’t know they offer any support to parents.”
According to Jonathan Bernstein, executive director of the FIDF’s Bay Area chapter, some 100 local families currently find themselves in the same boat as the Zippersteins, with a child serving in the Israeli military 7,500 miles away.
Many of those families are native Israelis living in the Bay Area. Having been through the military themselves, they understand what their kids are in for.
But for American parents, it’s a different story.
“They obviously have some anxiety and a strong sense of pride,” Bernstein said, “but they also have questions, from the mundane to life-and-death. Parents are nervous about what’s going to happen to their kid. They want to connect with other parents on an ongoing basis.”
FIDF has long provided assistance to lone soldiers, young men and women from other countries who opt to serve in the Israeli military. The organization sends care packages, provides a 24/7 hotline for the soldiers, has a lone soldier center in Tel Aviv and connects soldiers with host families in Israel.
Only now is FIDF shifting some focus to the parents left behind.
Marin resident Joan Levison said goodbye to her son, also named Caleb, in March 2012, when he made aliyah. It was during an extended visit to Israel while he was a young teen that he realized his place was the Jewish homeland.
“He was sitting on the balcony on his kibbutz,” Levison recalled, “when he saw the stars and said to himself, ‘My people have been looking at the stars in this place for thousands of years. This is where I belong.’ ”
After graduating Mount Tamalpais High School, her son took part in Garin Tzabar, a program that eases foreign-born recruits into the IDF with three months of Hebrew language instruction and socialization.
“He said to me, ‘If I’m going to make aliyah I will have to do the military; otherwise I will always be an outsider in Israeli society,’” Levison recounted. “I was incredibly proud of him.”
Her 19-year-old son started basic training last December and was taken in by an Israeli family that lives on a kibbutz near the Gaza Strip.
Although he is soon to be deployed as a gunner on an armored personnel carrier, his mother is not an anxious wreck. Levinson said she was born without “the worry gene.”
Since that’s the opposite of most parents of lone soldiers (and most parents in general), Levison is happy to reach out and do what she can to help calm others. For example, she recently connected with Linda Zipperstein, whose stress level over her son’s situation is high.
Levison has simple advice for the worried parents: Visit Israel. She did just that in January.
“We have a perception that you’re walking around land mines on every corner,” she said, “but once you’re there you realize how safe it is. Every family has to deal with it individually, but I hope they can support their kids.”
“These kids are making incredible sacrifices,” Bernstein said, “leaving the comfort of home and family, going to a foreign place where many don’t speak the language, don’t have any support group to help them. They make this brave decision to go over there, so it’s our duty to show them appreciation.”
Support group for parents of IDF soldiers. First event is Wednesday, May 22 in Atherton. For location, call (415) 547-8360 or email [email protected]. Friends of the IDF information at www.fidf.org.