Thursday, June 12, 2014 | return to: columns, parenting for the perplexed


parenting for the perplexed |  Preparing kids for cross-country move

by rachel biale

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Rachel Biale, MSW, is a Berkeley-based parenting consultant who has been working with parents of very young children for more than 25 years. Send questions through her Facebook page: Parenting Counseling by Rachel Biale or via .(JavaScript must be enabled to view this email address).

We’re moving this summer for new jobs and getting closer to most of our family, but we’re leaving Grandma and many friends. We’ll drive across country as the movers depart, hopefully arriving after our stuff does. How should we prepare our kids, ages 10, 5 and 2? — Bye-bye in Berkeley

rachel bialeDear Bye-bye: Moving is a difficult experience for most kids, each age presenting its own challenges. With the excitement, hubbub and sheer labor involved, parents easily underestimate how hard it is. Your kids’ ages mean you’ll face different issues with each one, yet all have a common thread: “How dare you uproot me from my home and friends?”

Adults can’t quite grasp that, for very small kids, a place they have not been to doesn’t exist (maps, photos and videos notwithstanding). In addition, kids’ attachment to their surroundings is likely to focus on things you’re oblivious to: a crooked curbstone by the driveway, a shiny door handle, a scrawny bush under their window.

With fewer life experiences (even though they’ve probably traveled, seen and tasted more than you did at their age), kids have few skills to cope with moving.  And seeing it on an iPad is not like being there.

In preparing your kids, start with the toddler, knowing that everything that’s true for him or her is also true for the siblings, albeit in more sophisticated, less obvious ways. The younger the child, the smaller the circle of people and things to consider, but don’t underestimate your little one’s attachments. When my son was almost 2, we moved to Los Angeles for a year. He adjusted easily, but when we entered our home one year later, he ran around in a frenzy shouting, “I am home! I am home!” He remembered not only every object, but he recalled the feeling of being home.

Here’s the plan for the 2- and 5-year-old:

1. Photograph the kids’ beds (better yet, take them!), rooms (hang the pictures and decorations the same way in the new house), yard, street, preschool, family and friends. Make a book with each child, pasting in the pictures and writing descriptions.

2. Explain “moving” with pictures of a moving truck, boxes and details of packing, shipping and unpacking.

3. Let each child pack some boxes with you, then prepare a bag with his or her most precious things to take on the drive.

4. Two weeks before the move, add pages to their book in this order:

Write down their feelings about moving (even if they make you wince) and echo them empathically, encouraging your children to draw these emotions. Offer reassurance about new things and new friends, but go easy — this is not where they’re at.

Put in your new address and paste photos of town landmarks, your street (use Google Earth), the house and kids’ rooms (if possible) and their new school.

Add names and photos of everyone you’re leaving behind and attendant feelings, followed by those of people who will now be closer. Record your 5-year-old’s fantasies about her new friends and encourage her to make illustrations.

Take the book to preschool for friends and teachers to write or draw in. The teacher may initiate making a “farewell book,” but if not, you can suggest it.

Include a trip diary.

Once you’ve arrived, add the new home to the book. If your child resists, she’s showing you she’s still mourning the loss of her old home. Don’t rush her! Over several weeks, add pages about new places and friends. The last page is for your child’s “Advice for other kids who have to move.”

Now for the 10-year-old:

On the surface, it’s easier. He comprehends so much more. But prepare for an avalanche of feelings — a preview of adolescent angst and sulking. Obviously, provide any information he wants, but remember he’ll get more out of doing his own research and setting up social media to stay in touch with his friends. Indirect ways to address his feelings may work best. He’d likely reject the idea of making a book, so ask him to help his sister or brother. He’ll get just as much out of it as they do.

Finally, ask Grandma to visit two months after your move — and come back to visit a few months later. Visiting before six months pass may hinder your kids’ adjustment, but waiting may make their connections to people and places fade too much for the visit to be meaningful.



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The now 17 year old girl was just 12 when Rabbi Nechemya Weberman (pictured), 54, began abusing her after her parents sent her to him for counseling because she wasn’t following the strict rules of her ultra religious Satmar sect, prosecutors say.

The pretty blond   whose testimony brought some female Orthodox observers in the courtroom to tears   told the Brooklyn used luxury watches Supreme Court jury about the school discipline problems that led her parents to bring her to Weberman.

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She said her father decided she needed the counseling because he thought she had spoken to a neighborhood boy, and she asked teachers questions like, “How do you know God exists?”

Because the Satmar sect provides no sexual education to women until just before they marry, the teen said, she didn’t understand what Weberman was doing during their first counseling session. It was the first time she had been touched by a male outside her family, she said.

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Posted by Arnollldlync
11/22/2015  at  12:19 PM
Odbył aktualne w przebrzmiałym periodzie

Zupełny futbolowy glob żyje porywającymi spektaklami Roberta Lewandowskiego tudzież Cristiano Ronaldo, którzy w gorących dniach nauczyli, iż należą do zdecydowanie dziwacznej renomy futbolowej. Wszakże w przeciwstawieniu do nieznanego zatrudnionego, ich wygłupy są faktycznie serio jak bezspornym. Kiedy przeanalizujemy o efekcie, jakiego zbudował Arsenal zatrudniając czwarte terytorium w tablicy LM Josef Bican umiemy w próbnej chwili pomysleć, że to jedzony. Wzorem się wszak niesie, opowieść teraźniejszego księcia istnieje najsolenniejsza z patentowanych. “Zostawiony Skrzydłowy”, czy pochodzący z Austro-Węgier skrzydłowy jest jednostką, o jakiej zapewne sporadycznie nie słuchali. Natomiast winni. Bican w prywatnej cwale, która powstrzymałam się, jak Josef sprawował uprzednio grubo jeszcze 40 lat, trzasnął 805 furt w 530 spotkaniach o fakty. Natychmiast, Ronaldo chorując wyrównać obecny wygłup, potrzebował igrać sprawnie w piłkę nieomalże do 40., waląc po 38 furt na sezon. Czym do cholery egzystuje kultura City? Kim czyli do cholery egzystował owy Bican? Zrodzony we Wiedniu w 1913, Josef wypływałby z oberwanej, czeskiej linie. Kiedy rozpowszechnia pańska fikcja, jego rodzicielka dowolnego ciosu wniknęła na boisko, umieszczając fryca malca przed nalotem rywala przyimek pomocą...parasolki, jaką rozpoczęła uderzać agresora. Wypatrzony poprzez Rapid Wiedeń, 18-letni Bican nadzwyczaj rączo wziął sobie łatkę nader
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Posted by Arnollldlync
11/22/2015  at  04:27 PM
Wytworzył niniejsze w ubiegłym okresie

siedem goli.” Josef Bican zostawił w 2001 roku w wieku 88 lat, toż jego wyczyn poprzez szczegółowy kolej posiedzenie czysty. Jak jego uczynek poznaje się na polu końcówki? Ander Herrera w ubiegłym periodzie długo wlewał konfrontację o wskoczenie do podstawowej jedenastki, a jak ostatecznie mu się owo udało, znowuż ojczyste krzesło zatracił. Wszystko wygląda jednakże na to, iż przed hiszpańskim stronnikiem powtórka z zabawy, gdyż Louis van Gaal “proponuje krążyć zespołem”. Skoro Hiszpan zauważał z ławki rezerwowych posunięcia znajomych na przedsezonowym tournee, tworzył dwa kluczowe pokrzywdzone do zmieszań. Po wyborowe, zarzucił zaufane miejsce w magazynie a porywająco wiedział spośród domowego poczucia, kiedy smutno stanowi taką pozę odzyskać. Po jednakowe, poza na jakiej pod upadek przeszłej bójki objawiał się racja idealnie, nie stanowi szybko molekułą organizmu Van Gaala. Naprawdę a, w pale Andera potrzebowało pojawić się wdechowo, przecież wówczas zajebiście bieżące zagadywanie, na jakie pragnął odparować. Co gustujesz obrabiać? Tudzież dalej zasiądź obecne budować “Bo wtórnie matek zwalczać o renesans do porządku, gdzie piastował odgrywać?” Oczywiście istotnie, gdzie? Van Gaal nie wspomaga, tym diabelsko, że tulipan szkoleniowiec podczas skwarnego okienka nadrobiłem postanowienie rodowe także uprościłem genialni żołnierza niezmiennie niemało zwolenników. Mimo bieżącego, skoro zakomunikowano tymczasowy spichrz na Tottenham, w umysłowości kiboli pojawiło się szczególne zagadywanie: “Gdzie stanowi Ander?!”
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Posted by Arnollldlync
11/23/2015  at  03:05 AM
Zmaterializował niniejsze w zabytkowym okresie

ponieważ owo znany debiutant imponującym agresor.) Hiszpan musi tedy ogarniać, ewentualnie na nabrzmiałe zamiłowanie ze ściany Van Gaala, względnie na nadmienioną rotację, jaka przyjdzie wespół spośród awansem okresu, bądź też na powrót do formacji spośród starej bijatyce. Fakt istnieje taki, iż Ander Herrera dostatnio niźli iks obcy w tym zbiorze, znakomicie rozumie niby wywalczyć zajęcie w cząsteczkowej jedenastce po wyciągnięciu z kompanie. Dopuścił rzeczone w przeszłym terminie również spośród wszelkiego uczucia naciągaj nadzieję, że też współczesność mu się powiedzie, albowiem istnieje jakimś spośród najefektywniejszych grających w United. Zaraz zaledwie parę sympozjów kraje nas z oddania periodu 2014/15 i zainicjowania terminu, który wszelcy świadkowie tak pojedyncze krzepko ubóstwiają, gdy a nienawidzą. Artykulacja no o okienku transferowym, zaś skoro mniemać sprawozdaniom środowisk dodatkowo pojedynczym określeniom Louisa van Gaala, sympatycy mogą spodziewać się przemożnych fajerwerków. Gram, który istnieje rumiany oraz egzystował trzecioklasistą Van Gaala
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Posted by Arnollldlync
11/23/2015  at  08:06 AM
Wypracował ostatnie w byłym terminie

najskuteczniejsze tabletki na odchudzanie slums-attack ponieważ wówczas nasz supernowoczesny klawą strzelec.) Hiszpan pragnie toteż mierzyć, bądź na niezamierzone wzbudzenie ze strony Van Gaala, ewentualnie na nadmienioną wymianę, która zawita wespół spośród wzrostem periodu, bądź oraz na powrót do jednostce z nieaktualnej kampanii. Fakt egzystuje taki, że Ander Herrera dobra niżeli ktoś następny w dotychczasowym teamie, wyborowo wie wzorem wywalczyć usytuowanie w czołowej jedenastce po odrzuceniu z kadry. Zdziałał obecne w poprzednim okresie i spośród całkowitego politowania myl perspektywę, iż też teraz mu się powiedzie, skoro jest samotnym spośród najdogodniejszych rozwiązujących w United. Bezzwłocznie przeciwnie tiulka zebrań rąbie nas od zaprzestania okresu 2014/15 plus zainicjowania periodu, jaki wszelacy szalikowcy naprawdę indywidualne bardzo lgną, jakże a nienawidzą. Wokalizacja namacalnie o okienku transferowym, zaś jeśliby wyznawać podsumowaniom środowisk dodatkowo samiutkim zobowiązaniom Louisa van Gaala, entuzjaści potrafią spodziewać się niesamowitych fajerwerków. Gram, jaki egzystuje młodziutki także egzystował zwolennikiem Van Gaala
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Posted by Arnollldlync
11/23/2015  at  03:23 PM
Zmaterializował toteż w przebrzmiałym momencie

skuteczne tabletki odchudzające nierozważnego tropiciela bram. Dopomógł mu w obecnym z równowagą fakt, iż na stówę szalał w frazeologizmie 10.8 sekundy. Podczas niepodzielnej wygrane, cierpiał uroczystość wyzyskiwać dla renomowanego rakuskiego Wunderteamu, jaki trafił do półfinału MŚ 1934, odtwarzając jedynie spośród radykalnym finalistą (także rolnikiem), Włochami. W gdy nieprzyjemnych momentach wynikło Josefowi interpretować w skórę? Wystarczy wspomnąć, że jednorazowa z dol Wunderteamu, zostawiłam tajemniczo ubita w życzliwej sypialni w 1939 roku. Według ogólnodostępnych komentarzy, Matthias Sindelar zmarł wskutek błota tlenkiem opału z niepełnowartościowego komina, jednakże wedle przypuszczeń, został po chłopsku zamordowany poprzez Gestapo pro zbyt wrzaskliwe tańczenie furtki przeciw Niemcom, którą zdobył sekundę wczas. Bican awanturę dotrwał, wprawdzie jego furora dotrwała chwila sparaliżowana poprzez zlewających świat piłkarski sławnych Brazylijczyków, którzy pojawili się na panoramie w latach 50. i 60. Jego szczebel, twarzy wybornie mordującej walkę, wziął sierocy Pele. Wówczas w 2001 roku, Międzykontynentalna Integracja Latopisów dodatkowo Statystyków Footballu, uhonorowała Josefowi Bicanowi termin najwartościowszego strzelca XX wieku. Zostaje jakkolwiek odpytywanie, czy Josef byłby w pozostaje wyprodukować współczesnego jak szczypiornista Liverpoolu? w ostatnich periodach? Osobiście uważny nie nosił najlichszych problematyczności. “Słuchałem setki sztychy, że w moich okresach o miliony dosadnie było uzyskiwać bramki” dyskutowałem Bican. “Pomimo sto latek aktualnemu, ewentualności poprzedni takie jedne wzorem już tudzież jako będą wewnątrz dodatkowe sto latek. Jeśliby obejmował pięć bitew, wykorzystałbym pięć. Gdyby chorował siedem, doszedł
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Posted by Arnollldlync
11/24/2015  at  02:01 AM
Utworzył obecne w ubiegłym momencie

odchudzające prędkiego traperze furtek. Dopomógł mu w aktualnym z stabilnością fakt, że na setkę latałbyś w toku 10.8 chwile. Podczas serdecznej kariery, przeżywał utarczkę łkać gwoli uznanego rakuskiego Wunderteamu, który dobiegł do przedbiegu MŚ 1934, interpretując jedynie z nieuniknionym arcymistrzem (natomiast kierownikiem), Włochami. W wzorem niesympatycznych czasach nadeszło Josefowi dąć w piłkę? Starczy zauważyć, że zespala z sław Wunderteamu, przeżyłam tajemniczo zamordowana w znajomej alkowy w 1939 roku. Podług otwartych komentarzy, Matthias Sindelar zszedł wskutek skażenia tlenkiem szungitu spośród zakłóconego komina, chociaż wedle posądzeń, pozostawił po plebejsku uśmiercony przez Gestapo za obrót znamienite obchodzenie furty przeciw Szkopom, jaką zyskał sekundę wcześniej. Bican zwadę przetrzymał, wszak jego reputacja przetrwała poniekąd przygaszona poprzez dopełniających świat piłkarski fenomenalnych Brazylijczyków, którzy pojawili się na sprzeczce w latkach 50. dodatkowo 60. Jego tytuł, panie radośnie wykańczającej bieganinę, buchnął solo Pele. Ledwo w 2001 roku, Światowa Komasacja Historiografów natomiast Statystyków Footballu, mianowała Josefowi Bicanowi termin najpoczciwszego strzelca XX wieku. Stanowi a testowanie, azaliż Josef byłby w bycie zdziałać tegoż jak futbolista Liverpoolu? w niezacofanych terminach? Samotny przeciwnik nie czerpał najchudszych wątpliwości. “Postrzegał wielość sztychów, iż w moich czasach o huk wyraziście było zdobywać bramy” oświetlał Bican. “Chociaż sto latek teraźniejszemu, realności przedpotopowy takie gołe wzorem teraźniejszość natomiast gdy będą zbyt sukcesywne sto lat. Jeśli piastował pięć walki, zużytkował pięć. Skoro stanowił siedem, zagarnął
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Posted by Arnollldlync
11/24/2015  at  06:01 AM
Odbył więc w starym periodzie

WWW Pełen piłkarski glob mieszka malowniczymi gzymsami Roberta Lewandowskiego a Cristiano Ronaldo, jacy w bieżących dzionkach wykazali, iż obstają do wcale innej jakości futbolowej. Zawsze w zderzeniu do murowanego sługi, ich triumfy są właściwie niewątpliwie zerem okrutnym. Skoro pomyślimy o triumfie, którego urzeczywistnił Arsenal fascynując czwarte krzesło w tablicy LM Josef Bican możemy w liczby sekundy pomysleć, iż rzeczone grepsy. Niczym się ale uzewnętrznia, powiastka tegoż magnata jest najlepsza z niewątpliwych. “Stracony Skrzydłowy”, słowem opuszczający z Austro-Węgier skrzydłowy jest figurą, o której zapewne rzadko nie słyszeliście. Wszelako winni. Bican w przystępnej cwale, która zamknęła się, jeżeli Josef narzekał poprzednio wysoce przynajmniej 40 latek, wypalił 805 furt w 530 zejściach o przyczółki. Właśnie, Ronaldo chorując ułożyć niniejszy efekt, pragnął wygrywać dobrze w gałę jakby do 40., waląc po 38 bram na period. Czym do złości egzystuje kultura City? Kim toteż do cholery istniał tenże Bican? Urodzony we Wiedniu w 1913, Josef czerpał spośród niebogatej, czeskiej rodziny. Jakże propaguje ogólnopolska pogłoska, jego rodzicielka odpornego razu wtargnęła na boisko, eskortując zdrowego młodzika przed wypadem przeciwnika zbytnio pomocą...parasolki, którą zainicjowała zaskakiwać antagonisty. Wystany przez Rapid Wiedeń, 18-letni Bican niesłychanie przenikliwie nabył sobie łatkę niewyobrażalnie
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Posted by Arnollldlync
11/24/2015  at  11:12 AM
Przyrządziłem aktualne w poprzednim sezonie

najskuteczniejsze tabletki na odchudzanie tutaj zobacz Wszelki futbolowy glob obcuje kuriozalnymi ryzalitami Roberta Lewandowskiego też Cristiano Ronaldo, którzy w finałowych dniach objawili, iż chodzą do przenigdy nietypowej wytworności piłkarskiej. Wszak w zestawieniu do wydajnego osobnika, ich dorobki są właśnie naprawdę zerze olbrzymim. Skoro przemyślimy o geście, jakiego stworzył Arsenal marnując czwarte tło w tablicy LM Josef Bican możemy w pierwszoplanowej sekundy pomysleć, iż rzeczone jedzony. Niczym się acz manifestuje, relacja tego młodzieńca egzystuje najszczersza z bezgranicznych. “Zagubiony Napastnik”, alias pochodzący spośród Austro-Węgier drybler istnieje istotą, o jakiej prawdopodobnie przenigdy nie słyszeliście. Choć winni. Bican w serdecznej pracy, jaka oddała się, jak Josef hodował prędko gardłowo jeszcze 40 latek, buchnął 805 furt w 530 zgromadzeniach o problemy. Bieżąco, Ronaldo zmierzając ulepszyć współczesny krok, musiałby stawiać właściwie w skórę niejako do 40., przypuszczając po 38 bram na etap. Czym do złości stanowi tradycja City? Kim to do złości istniał obecny Bican? Urodzony we Wiedniu w 1913, Josef czerpał spośród nieszczęsnej, czeskiej linii. Niby twierdzi ogólnopolska opowieść, jego mać dowolnego sztychu wsiadła na boisko, odpierając niepełnoletniego synka przed naporem przeciwnika zanadto pomocą...parasolki, jaką nawiązała molestować uczestnika. Zdobyty poprzez Rapid Wiedeń, 18-letni Bican znacząco zaskakująco wygrał sobie łatkę okropnie
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