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Thursday, March 13, 2014 | return to: columns, jokes


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Teamwork 101

Yeshiva University finally decided to field a rowing team. Sadly, they lost their first race. And then the next one, too. Even though they practiced for hours and hours every day, they kept losing, never finishing any better than dead last.

Finally, they decided to send Morris Fishbein, their captain, to spy on Harvard, the championship team. He shlepped off to Cambridge, Mass., and hid in some bushes by the Charles River, where he watched the Harvard team at its daily practice.

After a week, Morris returned to Yeshiva U. “Well, I discovered their secret,” he announced.

“What? Tell us! Tell us!” his teammates shouted.

“We can have only one guy yelling. The other eight must row.”

 

Bread of life

The newly married couple is eating their Shabbat meal together. The husband asks his wife, “Sarah, when are going to start making challah like your mother?”

The quick-witted wife responds, “When you start making dough like your father!”

 

The quiet storm

Two little old ladies are attending a long shul service. The rabbi’s sermon is going on and on.

One lady leans over and whispers to the other, “My tuchus has gone to sleep.

“I know,” her friend replies. “It’s been snoring.”

 

Prayer position

A rabbi and an imam are discussing the best positions for prayer on a Jerusalem street, while a telephone repairman works nearby.

“Standing with your feet together in silent devotion, swaying back and forth. That’s definitely the best way to pray,” says the rabbi.

“No,” says the imam. “You’re wrong. I get the best results lying down on the floor with my hands outstretched.”

“I’m not so sure about that,” replies the rabbi.

“You’re both wrong,” the Israeli repairman suddenly chimes in. “I do my best praying when I am hanging upside down from a telephone pole.”


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