Thursday, January 16, 2014 | return to: columns, jokes



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A caring man

Isaac, age 70, has a serious illness, and his doctor has just warned him that he doesn’t have many more months to live. Isaac immediately decides to leave the hospital and spend the rest of his days at home with his wife, Rebecca, and family all around him.

One night, some weeks later, he’s feeling quite awful. There’s also a raging rainstorm going on, with flashes of lightening and unbelievably strong winds howling all around. Isaac calls down to Rebecca to come upstairs as he has something important to tell her.

“Darling,” he says, “I’ve never felt so bad as I do now.”

“Oh no,” cries Rebecca.

“I really think I’m very close to seeing my mom and dad again, and also my bubbie and zayde. And of course, God himself.”

“Oh Isaac! Isaac!” she says, crying profusely.

“And I want to be with a man of the cloth before I die, so could you please contact Father O’Reilly over at St. Christopher’s Church and ask him to come here as soon as possible.”

“But you’re Jewish, darling,” Rebecca says. “Surely you mean you want me to call Rabbi Levy and ask him to come over.”

“Oh no, Rebecca,” Isaac says. “You don’t think I would ask Rabbi Levy to come out to see me on a dreadful night like this?”


Name games

A rabbi approaches a guest in synagogue and says, “I ‘d like to give you an aliyah. What’s your name?”

The man answers, “Esther Gorfinkle.”

The rabbi says, “No, I need your name.”

“It’s Esther Gorfinkle,” the man says.

“How can that be your name?” asks the rabbi.

The man answers, “I’ve been having financial problems, so everything now is in my wife’s name.”


Great idea

Synagogue committees should be made up of three members, two of whom should be absent at every meeting.


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