Vaetchanan
Deuteronomy 3:23-7:11
Isaiah 40:1-40:26
The question of speech is deeply troubling. What do we want to say? What are we afraid to say? In what way do the words that pass our lips reflect something that is essentially true about who we are? We say that actions speak louder than words, but perhaps that reflects instead our fear that actions have integrity, while speech is filled with lies.
Our rabbis teach: The Temple was destroyed because of baseless words of hatred between brothers. The story goes that a man meant to invite Kamtza, his friend, but instead invited Bar Kamtza, his enemy and rival. After Bar Kamtza arrived and the was told by the host to leave, he offered the cost of being hosted rather than suffering the embarrassment of being asked to leave. His host refused. Bar Kamtza even offered to pay for the entire party, but still the host refused.
Bar Kamtza left in humiliation, angered especially by the failure of rabbinic leadership present at the party to speak up on his behalf. As a result of his anger, he slandered his own people to the Romans and triggered the events leading to the destruction of the Temple.
This story focuses us on words and their impact. Bar Kamtza shows up, hoping to heal this broken relationship, and instead is humiliated publicly. His lies, mere words, trigger destruction and upheaval. Yet there are other choices.
Rabbi Moshe Cotel tells a great story of Rachmaninoff, the famous Russian composer. Rachmaninoff was showing great promise that had as yet to be fully realized. Then he suffered a creative block and was unable to compose. He tried a number of treatments, all of which failed. Finally, he went to a hypnotherapist who repeated a very simple mantra to him: You will write your concerto. You will write with great facility. The music will be of an excellent quality.
Rachmaninoff later said of this: Surprisingly, it worked.
Why was he surprised? Did it seem too easy or simple? Words have their own power. God spoke and created the world. Our words, too, hold creative or destructive power.
A man I know started taking piano lessons after retiring. To be honest, he was never that good, but he really enjoyed it. Once, one of his sons, an accomplished pianist himself, was in town and this friend of mine wanted to show off to his son. After playing for a few minutes, the son said: For this you have been taking lessons? The man never played again. This is the destructive power of language.
Pirkei Avot warns us again and again of the dangers of speech. Speak little and do much. Words are like silver, but silence is golden.
We have just passed Tisha B’Av, that day on which we mourn Jewish tragedy generally and the destruction of the Temple in particular. It focuses us on the destructive quality of words, and how easily hurtful language can destroy a community. There is a reason Judaism speaks out so strongly against gossip. Gossip’s insidious quality is a poison to healthy society. Words do have power and they can hurt. But they can also heal.
Rachmaninoff rediscovered inspiration through the power of words, reigniting his own faith in himself. As we move away from destruction as symbolized by Tisha B’av and toward Rosh Hashanah, it’s time for us to realize that we also make choices in our words, in the sweet savor they can possess when we are caring and thoughtful in the way we speak to others.
We begin our personal prayers customarily by asking for God to open our lips to sing God’s praises. So perhaps it is time to use words that we say to ourselves to set our intention and move toward a new year in which our speech is filled with healing and blessing.
So here is prayer of intention: God, open my lips that I may sing your praise. To speak is terrifying because to lie is human. O Lord, open my lips both in synagogue but also in the darker recesses of my home, and in my work, and on the way that I may forever give voice to Your praise and bring healing and comfort into the life of those around me.
Rabbi David Booth is the spiritual leader at Congregation Kol Emeth in Palo Alto. He can be reached at [email protected].