Service industry
One Saturday morning, the rabbi notices little Noah staring up at the large plaque that hangs in the foyer of the synagogue. It’s covered with names, and small American flags are mounted on either side of it.
The 7-year-old has been staring at the plaque for some time, so the rabbi walks up, stands next to the boy, and says quietly, “Good morning, Noah.”
“Good morning, rabbi,” replies Noah, still focused on the plaque. “Rabbi, what is this?”
“Well, son, it’s a memorial to all the young men and women who died in the service.”
Soberly, they stand together, staring at the large plaque. Then little Noah, his voice barely audible, asks, “Which one, the Friday night or the Saturday service?”
Stop and go
In the future, a mechanically inclined rabbi invents a car. But this car doesn’t run on fuel; it runs on Judaic belief. To start the car you must say “Baruch HaShem” (thank God), and the faster you say it the faster the car goes. And the word to stop the car is “Amen.”
So one day, Micah, a senior at the Jewish high school, gets into his dad’s “Rebbe-mobile” and starts chanting “Baruch HaShem, baruch HaShem, baruch HaShem.” The car speeds up, going faster and faster.
Soon Micah realizes that he is heading straight for a cliff. Desperately, he struggles to remember the word to stop the car.
The second before disaster strikes, he shouts “Amen!” and the car stops, virtually inches short of the edge.
Micah sighs in relief and says “Baruch HaShem.”
How it all began?
A rabbi, a priest and a minister walk into a bar. The bartender takes one look at them and asks, “What is this? A joke?”
© david minkoff
Fishing line
The Hebrew teacher asks Asher, “So, do you think Noah did a lot of fishing when he was on the Ark?”
“No,” the kid replies. “How could he? He only had two worms.”
© david minkoff