Good strategy
The commanding officer at the Russian military academy gave a lecture on the future of military strategy. At the end of the lecture, he asked if there were any questions.
An officer stood up and asked, “Will there be a third world war? And will Russia take part in it?” The general answered both questions in the affirmative.
Another officer asked, “Who will be the enemy?” The general replied, “All indications point to China.”
Everyone in the audience was shocked. A third officer remarked, “General, we are a nation of only 150 million, compared to the 1.5 billion Chinese. Can we win at all, or even survive?”
The general answered, “Just think about this for a moment: In modern warfare, it is not the quantity of soldiers that matters, but the quality of an army’s capabilities. For example, in the Middle East we have had a few wars recently where 5 million Jews fought against 150 million Arabs, and Israel was always victorious.”
After a small pause, an officer from the back of the auditorium asked, “Do we have enough Jews?”
An Olympic trial
In a slalom race, the skier must pass through about 20 gates in the fastest time.
It happened that a very Orthodox yeshiva in Montreal had an exceptional skier among its students. After first checking to make sure none of the men’s slalom races would be on the Sabbath, he tried out for and made the Canadian Winter Olympic team.
With his times in the trial heats, he was the favorite for an Olympic gold medal.
On the day of the final, the crowd waited in anticipation.
The French champion sped down the course in 38 seconds.
The Swiss in 38.7 seconds.
The German in 37.8 seconds.
The Italian in 38.1 seconds.
Then came the turn of the Canadian yeshiva bocher. The crowd waited, and waited …
Finally, after a full five minutes, he crossed the finish line.
“What happened to you?” screamed his coach when the skier finally arrived.
Breathing hard, the exhausted yeshiva student replied, “All right, who’s the wise guy who put a mezuzah on every gate?”