The right man?
Moishe meets Arnold at their social club and asks how Samuel’s funeral went the other day.
“It went OK, Moishe,” Arnold replies, “but at the end of the rabbi’s eulogy, I had to try and stop myself from laughing out loud.”
“Why was that?” Moishe asks.
“Well,” Arnold says, “throughout his marriage to Miriam, she was always telling me what a mean man he was. He never had a steady job and the money he brought home to her wasn’t enough for food and clothing, let alone holidays. Yet he drank heavily and often stayed out all night gambling. Altogether, a good husband he was not. But at the funeral, the rabbi spoke of how wonderful the deceased was — so considerate, so beloved, so thoughtful to others. Then, when the rabbi had finished, I heard Miriam say to one of her children, “Do me a favor, David, go see whether it’s your father in the coffin.”
© david minkoff
Just in case
Abe is on holiday in Israel with his wife, children and mother-in-law. Sadly, while they are visiting Jerusalem, Abe’s mother-in-law dies.
Abe goes to the American embassy with her death certificate in his hand to make arrangements to send her body back to the U.S. for burial. The embassy official tells Abe that it’s very expensive to send a body back to the U.S.
“It could cost as much as $2,000,” he says, “so in most cases, the family decides to bury the body here in Israel because this only costs $100.”
“I don’t care how much it costs to send her body back, that’s what I want to do. OK?” Abe says, irritated.
“OK,” the official says, “calm down. We’ll do it. You must have loved your mother-in-law a lot, considering the price difference.”
“No, that’s not the reason,” Abe says. “It’s just that I know of a case of someone who was buried here in Jerusalem many, many years ago and on the third day he rose from the dead. I just don’t want to take that chance.”