’Til death, No words necessary, A sad story, Rudi the rebbe

’Til death

Isaac has been quietly perusing a document for some time and his wife Rose is getting curious. So she asks him, “Nu, so what are you reading, Isaac?”

“Our ketubah,” he replies.

“But you’ve been staring at it now for nearly an hour,” she says. ”I know,” Isaac replies. “I’m looking for something.”

”So what are you looking for, Isaac?” asks Rose.

“An expiration date.”

© david minkoff

No words necessary

Three Jewish women get together for lunch. As they are being seated in the restaurant, one takes a deep breath and gives a long, slow “oy.”

The second takes a deep breath as well and lets out a longer, slower “oyyyy.”

The third takes a deep breath and says impatiently, “Girls, I thought we agreed that we weren’t going to talk about our children.”

A sad story

Two little minks are happily playing in the forest, when a hunter arrives on the scene and instantly shoots one of them.

As the hunter lines up his rifle on the other mink, the mink turns to his dead friend and says, “See you in shul.”

© david minkoff

Rudi the rebbe

It was Chanukah and the people in the tiny village were in fear of not having any latkes because they had run out of flour.

Rudi, the rabbi, was called upon to help solve the problem.

He said, “Don’t worry. You can substitute matzah meal for the flour and the latkes will be just as delicious!”

So Sheila looks at her husband and says, “Morty, you think it’ll work?”

And Mortey says: “Of course. Everybody knows … Rudolph the Reb knows grain, dear.”