A smart patient
An elderly Jewish man has just moved to a new town when he is taken ill and decides that he needs to see a doctor.
In the waiting room, he tries to find out a bit about the doctor. He asks the man sitting next to him if the doctor’s fees are expensive.
The man says: “Well, he is and he isn’t. You see, he charges you $1,000 for your first visit.”
The Jewish man exclaims in shock, “A thousand dollars?”
The man replies, “Yes, but all your visits after that for the rest of your life are free!”
The Jewish man thinks about this, and then gets called by the nurse to go in to see the doctor.
On entering the doctor’s office, he says casually, “Hello doctor, here I am again!”
Gender bending
Three men were hiking through a forest when they came upon a large, raging, violent river.
Needing to get to the other side, the first man prayed: “God, please give me the strength to cross the river.” Poof! God gave him big arms and strong legs and he was able to swim across in about two hours, although he almost drowned twice.
After witnessing that, the second man prayed: “God, please give me strength and the tools to cross the river.” Poof! God gave him a rowboat and strong arms and strong legs and he was able to row across in about an hour, although he almost capsized once.
Seeing what happened to the first two men, the third man prayed: “God, please give me the strength, the tools and the intelligence to cross the river.” Poof! He was turned into a woman. She checked the map, hiked 100 yards upstream and walked across the bridge.