Each week when j. hits the newsstand I specifically look forward to two parts of each issue: the picture on the cover and the story that follows. While most of the articles in the paper are informative, the community calendar very helpful and the advertisements useful, it is the cover story that I more often than not find enlightening.
I have found the cover stories are, for the most part, either in-depth reporting on critical issues that face the Jewish community locally and worldwide, or they are inspirational narratives that touch our hearts and souls. They can be thought-provoking and heart-wrenching, as well as educational and spiritually uplifting. It is why I read the paper every week.
However, in the issue that arrived on May 1, j. missed the point completely. Unfortunately, it also managed to send the wrong message to its readers and the Jewish community.
The cover story that week was titled “Lions and tigers and bears, oy vey!” and was the centerpiece in the section titled “Celebrations.” The story, which focused entirely on a handful of very creative b’nai mitzvah parties, completely undermined the hard work that the rabbis, cantors, educators and most of the parents of the Northern California Jewish community have long struggled with — to teach our young people about the central principles in becoming bar and bat mitzvah.
We are constantly educating our families that the focus of this day is not and should not be the party, and yet this article gave the wrong message when it chose to highlight the party and not the mitzvah.
The reality is that you can enter just about any shul in the Bay Area during any given week and you will find a group of parents and students meeting with their clergy to discuss and learn about the values and principles at the core of what it means to become b’nai mitzvah. We stress the central themes of Torah and mitzvahs, God and Israel, social action and personal responsibility. We stress the values of family involvement and the importance of developing strong communal connections. We also discuss the importance of appropriately celebrating this amazing lifecycle moment as a part of Jewish tradition.
I will be honest and say that if I was the only rabbi, cantor, educator or parent who was troubled by the message of this story I would have taken a deeper look into my discomfort and disappointment in the tenor of the article. However, this was most certainly not the case. On the contrary, I have had a great deal of support from my colleagues and other parents in the writing of this opinion piece and it is with their consultation and advice that many of us express the following message.
On behalf of concerned clergy members, educators and parents, we strongly encourage j. to continue to consider the messages it sends publishing articles like “Lions and tigers and bears, oy vey!” We strongly encourage j. to continue to write articles that are critical to the Jewish community locally and worldwide and that inspire us to connect more deeply to God, Torah, Israel, the Jewish people and our community.
We want and need j.’s help in encouraging our young people and their families to understand the core values associated with Jewish lifecycle moments so that when they celebrate, their hearts and souls are moved toward making our world a better place to live, rather than making their party the most spectacular in order to “keep up with Steins.”
Rabbi Dennis J. Eisner is the senior rabbi of Peninsula Temple Beth El in San Mateo.