Children writing to God
• Dear God, Instead of letting people die and having to make new ones, why don’t you just keep the ones you have now?
• Dear God, I went to a wedding and they kissed right in the synagogue. Is that OK?
• Dear God, Please send me a pony. I never asked for anything before. You can look it up.
• Dear God, If we come back as something, please don’t let me be Rebecca Levine because I hate her.
• Dear God, I bet it is very hard for you to love all the people in the world. There are only four people in our family and I can never do it.
• Dear God, I don’t think anybody could be a better God. Well, I just want you to know that I am not just saying this because you are God already.
• Dear God, Maybe Cain and Abel would not kill each other so much if they had their own rooms. It works with my brother.
• Dear God, Who draws the lines around the countries?
• Dear God, We read Thomas Edison made light. But in Hebrew school, we learned that you did it. So I bet he stole your idea.
© david minkoff
A real help
Barney was never known to help out with any of the household chores, but after a serious argument with his wife, Hannah, on this subject, he agrees to try to get more involved. The next day, Hannah is shocked — Barney has decided to wash his favorite sweatshirt.
She watches him put his sweatshirt into the washing machine and then just stand there with a puzzled look on his face. After a few minutes, he turns to Hannah and says, “OK, I give in. So what setting do I use for washing a red, long sleeved, 90 percent cotton, 10 percent polyester sweatshirt?”
“It all depends,” replies Hannah. “What does it say on your sweatshirt?”
“Yeshiva University,” he replies.