Jokes

One easy solution

A small town had two churches, Presbyterian and Methodist, and a synagogue. All three had a serious problem with squirrels in their building. Each in its own fashion had a meeting to deal with the problem.

The Presbyterians decided that it was predestined that squirrels be in the church and that they would just have to live with them.

The Methodists decided they should deal with the squirrels lovingly. They humanely trapped them and released them in a park at the edge of town. Within three days, they were all back in the church.

The Jews simply voted the squirrels in as members. Now they only see them at Rosh Hashanah and Yom Kippur.




The Book of Life

It was Rosh Hashanah evening. In the old Jewish neighborhood, everyone was heading to services. On his way to synagogue, the rabbi notices one of his neighbors — an old timer — sitting on a park bench.

"Sam, aren't you going to services?" the rabbi asks.

"Not this year, rabbi," Sam says.

"Why not, Sam?" the rabbi says. "Don't you think you should ask God for another year of good health?"

"Rabbi," Sam replies, "I'm 93 years old. Most of my friends are gone. And I have a hunch that in heaven they've forgotten about me. And the last thing I want to do ... is remind them!"