Jokes

Prayers answered

Moshe is driving to the city, where he has an important meeting to attend. But when he gets there, he can't find a place to park. He drives around, he waits, he even tries a bit farther away, but all in vain.

In desperation, Moshe looks up at the sky and says, "Oh Lord, if you will find me a parking place in the next five minutes, I promise you I will stop gambling, I'll eat only kosher food, I'll marry a Jewish woman and I'll observe Shabbat properly."

Almost immediately, he sees a car pulling out of its parking place and quickly takes its place. Again Moshe looks up at heaven and says, "Oh Lord, there's no need for you to find me a parking place — I've already found one."




A working mother

One afternoon Max comes home from work to find total mayhem. His two young children are in the front garden, soaking wet and playing with the garden hose. There is food all over the lawn, trash everywhere and some of their plants have been pulled up and are lying on the path.

The front door to the house is wide open and there's no sign of the dog. As Max enters his house, he finds an even bigger mess. The tables are lying on their sides, all the vases have been knocked over and wet flowers are on the floor, and the armchair cushions are lying where they were thrown. The TV is blaring and the children's room is strewn inches deep with toys and various items of clothing.

Max goes into the kitchen and finds the sink full of unwashed dishes from the morning's breakfast, none of the food has been cleared up, the fridge door is wide open and there's dog food on the floor.

He's quite worried by now and heads up the stairs to look for his wife, Fay. He's worried she might be ill, or even worse.

Max finds Fay curled up in bed, still in her pajamas and reading a book. She smiles at him and says, "How did your day go, darling?"

Max looks at her, bewildered, and asks, "What happened here today, Fay?"

She smiles and says, "You know every day when you come home from work and you ask me what in the world did I do today?"

"Yes," he replies.