Jokes

Wrong number?

Bernard hasn't spoken to his mother for at least a week, so he decides to phone her. As soon as a voice answers his call, Bernard says, "Hello, Mother, how have you been keeping?"

"Fine, thank you, fine," comes the reply.

"Oy," Bernard says, "I've dialed the wrong number. I'm sorry to have disturbed you, lady."

© david minkoff




Adaptation

As a result of global warming, a new flood is being predicted by all the world's top scientists. They predict that it will be horrendous, wiping out maybe 70 percent of the world's population. Not only that, but the flood could be here in three or four days' time.

To lend moral support to the people of the world, the pope, the Dalai Lama and the chief rabbi of Israel appear on TV together.

The pope says, "It's still not too late to accept Jesus as your savior."

The Dalai Lama says, "I appeal to all of humanity to follow Buddhist teachings. If you do, you can find nirvana in the wake of the disaster."

The chief rabbi, on the other hand, looks straight at the camera and says, "My people, we have just two or three days to learn how to live underwater!"

© david minkoff