Jokes

My son, the architect

An old Jewish woman was in Israel for the very first time and was on a special day tour of Jerusalem. First stop was a big beautiful shul and she said to her guide, "That's really special. How long did it take to build?"

The guide replied, "About five years, madam."

She replied, "My son, the architect, could have built it in only six months."

They carried on with the tour and arrived at a small settlement. The woman said to the guide, "This is really lovely. How long did they take to build it?"

"About 8 years, madam." he replied.

Snootily, she said "Huh, for my son, the architect, it would have taken less than a year."

Then they arrived at the Western Wall. The woman gasped at its size and said to the guide, "Just look at that structure!"

The guide didn't wait for her next comment. He immediately said, "My goodness! I just can't believe it — it wasn't here this morning!"

© david minkoff




Impossible wish

President Bush was on vacation. He was walking along a Texas beach one morning when he stumbled upon an old lamp. He picked it up and rubbed it and a genie appeared.

The president asked if he got three wishes. The genie said, "Nope, not these days. I'm only giving out one wish. So ... what'll it be?"

Bush replied, "See this map? I want Israel and the Palestinians to stop fighting with each other. That'll guarantee me a good chapter in the history books."

The genie looked at the map and exclaimed, "Are you crazy? They've been at war for years! I'm good, but I'm not that good. I don't think it can be done. So make another wish."

Bush thought for a minute and said, "You know, my approval ratings have been really awful lately, and it's damaging my morale. I'd love it if you could bring my ratings up again."

The genie thought for a minute and said, "Hmm. Let me see that map again ... "

© david minkoff