Jokes

Sold out

Yitzhak and Freda went out to see "Fiddler on the Roof" on stage. The show was very popular and was sold out every night.

As the show began, they noticed that there was an empty seat in the row behind them. When intermission came and no one had sat in that seat, Freda turned to the woman sitting next to the empty seat and asked, "Pardon me, but as this is such a sold-out show and in such demand, we were wondering why that seat is empty."

The woman said, "That's my late husband's seat."

Freda was horrified and apologized for being so insensitive. But a few minutes later, she turned around again.

"Without meaning to be rude or anything, this is an incredibly hard show to get into. Surely you must have a friend or a relative who would have wanted to come and see the show?"

"Sure," the woman said. "But they're all at the shiva."




The compromise

Joseph had just passed his driving test, so he asked his father if they could discuss the use of the car. His father took him to his study and said to him, "Joseph, I'll make a deal with you. You bring your school grades up, study Torah a little, get your hair cut and we'll talk about it."

After about a month Joseph came back and again asked his father if they could discuss use of the car. They again went to the father's study where his father said, "Joseph, I've been real proud of you. You have raised your school grades, you've studied Torah diligently, but you didn't get your hair cut!"

Joseph waited a moment and replied, "You know, Dad, I've been thinking about that. Samson had long hair, Abraham had long hair, Noah had long hair, and even Moses had long hair. If they can have it, why can't I?"

His father replied, "Yes, and they walked everywhere they went!"