Jokes

The broken watch

David's watch was not working. He remembered passing a little shop with clocks and watches in the window, so he took the watch in and asked for it to be repaired.

"I'm sorry. I don't repair watches," said the man behind the counter.

"Well, how much for a new one then?" asked David.

"I don't sell watches."

"Clocks, you sell clocks then? How much for a clock?"

"I don't sell clocks."

David was getting exasperated. "You don't sell watches, you don't sell clocks?"

"No, I'm a mohel," replied the man.

"Then why do you have all those clocks and watches in the window?"

"If you were a mohel, tell me, what would you put in your window?"




Question time

How you can tell that the person next to you has not been to synagogue too often?

• "Hey, my book is back to front."

• "Isn't it impolite to talk when the rabbi is talking?"

• "Why do people keep coming in even after the service begins? Don't they know what time it starts?"

• "Do people always get up and walk out just before the rabbi gives his sermon?"

• "Hey, I remember this part from 'Fiddler on the Roof.'"

• "Who brings kids to a place like this?"

• "You'd think nobody had ever seen a cell phone."

• "Pardon me, but you have some string hanging down from your scarf."

• "That boy can't be more than 12 or 13 — and they let him lead the service?"