Jokes

The spy

During a critical mission, a CIA agent was given the task of finding a spy named Epstein in New York and giving him a secret code that only he would understand.

The agent entered the lobby of an apartment building on the Lower East Side of Manhattan and browsed the directory. He noticed there were two Epsteins listed; one on the first floor, the other on the second.

He took a chance and knocked on the door of the Epstein on the first floor. When Epstein opened the door, the agent told him, "The sky above, the mud below."

Mr. Epstein replied, "Oh! You want Epstein the spy. Second floor."




Woman to woman

Eve sat alone under a tree in the Garden of Eden, and said, "God, I have a problem."

"What's the problem, Eve?"

"I know that You created me and provided this beautiful garden and all of these wonderful animals, but I'm just not happy."

"And why is that, Eve?"

"I'm lonely!" Eve replied.

"Well, Eve, in that case, I have a solution. I shall create a man for you."

"Man? What is that?"

God said, "A flawed creature, with many bad traits. He'll lie, cheat and be vain; all in all, he'll give you a hard time. He'll like to hunt and kill things. He will be witless, and will revel in childish things like fighting and kicking a ball about. He won't be as smart as you, so he will also need your advice to think properly."

"Sounds great," Eve said sarcastically. "What's the catch?"

"Well, you can have him on one condition."

"And what's that, God?"

"As I said, he'll be proud, arrogant and self-admiring, so you'll have to let him believe that I made him first. And it will have to be our little secret — you know, woman to woman."