Jokes

Not so heavenly

Shlomo spent his whole life looking for short cuts around Jewish law, whatever the issue; he would search and search until he found a rabbi who had a more lenient interpretation.

After a long life, he stood before the gates of heaven. God knew that the man had devoted his life to Jewish law and said, "Well, you certainly did everything I asked of you. Angels, please take this man straight to Gan Eden!"

The angels escorted the ecstatic man through the gates of heaven and took him to a dark, damp cell meagerly furnished with a wooden table and one small candle. The man's jaw dropped. He looked at the angels and asked in horror, "This is heaven?"

The angels looked at him and said, "According to some interpretations."




Buzz off

One day, two bees are hanging out in the honeycomb.

"How's your summer been?" asks the first bee.

"Not too good," says the second bee.

"Sheldon Levy is having a bar mitzvah a few blocks away," the first bee says. "Plenty of fruit and plenty of flowers."

"Thanks!" the second bee buzzes, and takes off.

An hour later, the bees bump into each other again.

"How was the bar mitzvah?"

"Great!"

"What's that?" the first bee asks, noticing a small circle on his friend's head.

"A yarmulke. I didn't want them to think I was a WASP."