The most recent statistics from Marin County show that 90 percent of children aged 2 to 5 in families that identify as Jewish have a non-Jewish parent.
So noted Chai Levy, assistant rabbi of Congregation Kol Shofar in Tiburon.
“The future of my congregation is, obviously, intermarried couples,” she said. “I have to think seriously about these people.”
That’s why Levy attended a conference last week sponsored by the Conservative movement’s Federation of Jewish Men’s Clubs, to learn more about an outreach initiative to make Conservative synagogues more welcoming to their non-Jewish members.
The conference was held at Berkeley’s Congregation Netivot Shalom, which is widely regarded as being at the forefront of this issue.
In the past three years, the Men’s Club has held seven training seminars for lay leaders, and now has close to 40 “kiruv,” or outreach consultants, working in Conservative congregations around the country. The consultants set up kiruv committees at their synagogues and organize discussion groups with intermarried couples, their parents and grandparents.
They also organize rabbinic seminars for Conservative rabbis interested in the project, working on the assumption that kiruv consultants have to work closely with their rabbis to be effective. More than 120 rabbis have taken part in such seminars, including last week’s in Berkeley.
Rabbi Chuck Simon, executive director of the Federation of Jewish Men’s Clubs, is passionate about kiruv.
In his two decades at the group’s helm he has consistently been out in front of the Conservative movement on the issue, prodding the leadership to do more to make congregants’ non-Jewish spouses feel welcome.
His work is bearing fruit, he claims. Last December, at its biennial convention, the United Synagogue of Conservative Judaism announced its own, more proactive kiruv initiative, which advocates a more open attitude toward members’ non-Jewish spouses, while still holding out conversion as the preferred goal.
That document, which has been distributed to Conservative congregations around the country, doesn’t go as far as the Men’s Club initiative, which Simon started working on six years ago — but he says it’s a big step in the right direction.
“Four years ago, we set our goal to put kiruv on the Conservative movement agenda within five years. We did it in three and a half,” he states.
In its April 2006 edition, the Federation of Jewish Men’s Club Kiruv Initiative states its position as “in favor of conversion if possible,” while recognizing that many non-Jewish spouses “lead Jewish lives and raise Jewish families” even if they don’t convert themselves.
“The FJMC favors meeting these people where they are and assisting them in making Jewish choices,” the document concludes.
Some congregations already are working with kiruv consultants and have implemented some of the steps Simon advocates, such as referring to “milestones” rather than “mazel tovs” in temple bulletins and allowing for announcements of intermarriages and births to intermarried couples.
Some of the rabbis who came to the Berkeley gathering were part of the Tiferet Project, a four-year effort that culminated with last year’s publication of “A Place in the Tent,” a book that urges the Conservative movement to adopt a more welcoming attitude toward intermarried families.
The book suggests a new language, which Rose Levinson, Netivot congregant and Tiferet Project manager, says is its greatest contribution. “Rather than non-Jew, we say ‘Karov Yisrael,'” meaning friend or relative of Israel, she said. “We offer a language of inclusion, and that’s a major contribution to the dialogue.”
By teaming up with the Men’s Club, Netivot Rabbi Stuart Kelman feels they really have had a significant impact.
“If not for the Men’s Club or Tiferet, the Conservative movement would not have written a position statement on non-Jews,” he said. “They knew they needed to respond as United Synagogue to the issues we were raising.”
“All the trends go from West to East,” says Rabbi George Schlesinger of Congregation Beth Ami in Santa Rosa. “Being here, we’re able to be cutting edge. This will sweep across the country.”
Tiferet Project Rabbis Ted Feldman, Gordon Freeman, Harry Manhoff and Mimi Weisel will speak about “A Place in the Tent: Intermarriage in Conservative Judaism” at 7 p.m. Tuesday, May 23 at the JCC of San Francisco, 3200 California St., S.F.
Alexandra J. Wall is a writer for j. Sue Fishkoff is a writer for the
Jewish Telegraphic Agency.