Vayerah
Genesis 18:1-22:24
II Kings 4:1-37
There is a classic rule of negotiation that suggests, “Whoever speaks first, loses.” Abraham must have been a fantastic negotiator. At the opening of this week’s Torah portion, HaShem appears to Abraham as he sits at the entrance to his tent. Strangely, there seems to be no dialogue whatsoever. Abraham sits in the presence of the Divine and says … nothing. HaShem responds by sharing … nothing. Is there a purpose to the visit? If God has a message to share, why does it go undelivered?
In approaching this curious narrative, I found it worthwhile to take a look at the events of Abraham’s 99-year life up to this point. What I realized was that in truth, this is more than a social opportunity gone awry; it is a glimpse into the depths of the human experience.
Abraham moved around quite a bit as a child. Nachmanides explains that his father moved the family during Abraham’s early years from their home in Charan to the city of Ur Casdim. This separated Abraham from his older brother Nachor, who stayed in the city of their birth. Consider the course of Abraham’s future social interactions:
He makes friends in Ur Casdim, alienates them with his monotheistic beliefs and is chased away. He returns to Charan and is reunited with his brother, but shortly thereafter is told by God to leave and go to Israel. After arriving in Israel, he has to leave for Egypt due to famine. There, under duress, he claims that Sarah is his sister.
The discovery that she is in fact his wife leads him to be chased out of Egypt. Abraham then separates from Lot, his beloved and trusted nephew. His followers disappear along the way from all accounts of his travels and are never heard from again.
Abraham fights to save Lot from wartime captivity, but we see never him thanked. The only thank-you he does receive for those efforts is from the King of Sodom, who seems to think that Abraham did it for the money. Desperately hoping for a child, Abraham takes Hagar as a wife and she gives birth to Yishmael.
He is subsequently caught in struggles between his two wives as Hagar and Yishmael are chased away. Abraham is commanded to circumcise himself, as a sign of a special covenant with HaShem shared by no one else. It is at precisely this moment that HaShem appears to Abraham, for a visit without words.
Why? Perhaps because Abraham’s life is deeply lonely. He is always at the fringe, alienated by his unique beliefs and the history of his life. Abraham leads a life in which few befriend him, and no one understands him. He stands for unpopular causes, moves frequently and is set apart by life experiences from all those that he meets.
It is now that HaShem visits Abraham, so that he can feel some companionship before finding out that he truly is otherwise alone. For in the episode that follows this one, Abraham will discover that there is not even one truly righteous person in the entire nearby metropolis of Sodom.
But Abraham’s experience is not his alone. How often do we, in our modern world, feel alienated from all those around us? That those whom we see all the time don’t truly know us? That something big has happened in our lives, and no one knows about it?
There are two teachers in this silent story. Abraham teaches us to not give up, to keep pursuing real human contact, to reach out until we successfully connect. But it is HaShem who demonstrates that helping
doesn’t always require words. Companionship, really being there with someone, can ease their pain in ways that words cannot. Sometimes, neither person needs to speak for both parties to win.
Rabbi Judah Dardik is the spiritual leader at Oakland’s Beth Jacob. He can be reached at [email protected].