Jokes

The rabbi and his friends

A rabbi, a priest and a minister are out fishing in the middle of a lake. The priest tells his two colleagues, "I left my fishing rod in the car; I'll be right back." He gets out of the boat, walks across the water to the beach, goes to the car, walks back across the lake, and gets into the boat. The rabbi stares at him in amazement.

Thirty minutes later, the minister says, "I need to go to the toilet." He, too, gets out of the boat, walks across the water, finds the nearest men's room, walks back across the water and gets into the boat. The rabbi is absolutely dumbfounded!

The rabbi thinks to himself, "My faith is as great as theirs." So he speaks up and says, "I need to get something to drink; there's a refreshment stand on the beach."

He stands up, puts his feet on the water and splash, he goes straight down under the water. The priest and minister help him back into the boat. He is embarrassed, not to mention wet, but he knows he can do it if the other two can. So he stands up again, steps out onto the water and again, splash! Again, he is dragged out and again he decides to try.

As he is going down for the third time, the priest turns to the minister and asks, "Do you think we should show him where the rocks are?"




Crosstalk

Rabbi Rabinowitz went in to beg his board of directors to buy a new synagogue chandelier. Arguing and pleading for over an hour, he eventually sat down, believing he had failed. Suddenly, the president of the board said, "Why are we wasting time talking? First of all, a chandelier — why, we haven't got anyone who could even spell it. Second, we haven't got anyone who could even play it. And lastly, what we really need in the shul is more light!"




Riddle

Q: What is Jewish Alzheimer's Disease?
A: It's when you forget everything but the guilt.