Jokes

How to get rich

Young David asked his rich grandfather, Paul, how he had made his money.

Paul said, "Well, David, it was 1955 and I was down to my last nickel. I went to the local market and invested that 5 cents in a large apple. I spent the entire day polishing the apple and, at the end of the day, I sold the apple for 10 cents."

"The next morning, I invested the dime in two large apples. I spent the entire day polishing them and I sold them at 5 p.m. for 20 cents. I continued this system for a month. Then Grandma's father died and left us $5 million."




Meyer's new pet

Meyer's pet armadillo had died and he was lonely. He quickly decided that life would be more fun if he had another pet. So Meyer went back to the pet store and told the owner that he wanted to buy another pet, but this time a bit more unusual. After some discussion, he finally bought a talking centipede, which came in a little white box to use for his house, with a mezuzah and everything.

Meyer took the box home. He found a good place to put it and then decided he would immediately take his new pet to the shul to show it off. He asked the centipede in the box, "Would you like to go to shul with me and daven?"

But there was no answer from his new pet. This bothered Meyer a bit. He waited a few minutes and then asked his pet again, "How about going to Beth Torah and praying to our Lord with me?"

Again, no answer from his new friend and pet.

Meyer waited a few minutes more, thinking about the situation. He decided to ask one more time, this time putting his face up against the centipede's house and shouting, "Hey, you in there! Would you like to go to shul or not?"

A little voice came out of the box: "Oy, gevalt, I heard you the first time! I'm putting on my shoes."




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