Jokes

Early shopper

It was Chanukah and Judge Levy was in a merry mood as he asked the defendant, "What are you charged with?"

"Doing my Chanukah shopping early," replied the defendant.

"But that's not an offense," said Judge Levy.

"It is if you do it before the shop opens," said the defendant.




Bread problems

Did you see the recent story in the Jewish Chronicle about the theft of egg-enriched dough from a North London warehouse?

Unfortunately, the theft happened just before Shabbat and it forced many local bakeries to bake their challah with plain, white flour.

A leading rabbi was quoted as saying, "I'm appalled by the rise in white challah crimes."




The call-up

Rabbi Bloom ran a Talmud class at the yeshiva. He was always so involved in the text being studied that he never looked up from his books. Often, when he called up a student for translation and explanation, without realizing it, he chose the same student day after day. But out of respect, the students wouldn't point this out to him.

Hymie had already been called up on three consecutive days when the rabbi once again said, "Hymie Himmelfarb, come up here and translate and explain."

Hymie replied, "Himmelfarb is absent today, rabbi."

"OK," said the rabbi, "why don't you come up here and translate and explain instead."




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