Jokes

Space-age bar mitzvah

Bernard had done very well in business and had amassed a small fortune. Now he was looking to create the most unique and spectacular bar mitzvah ever for his son David.

But what should it be? He dismissed the bar mitzvah safari — too many families had already done it. But then, after much investigation, Bernard was sure he had cracked it: He would rent a spaceship and David would be the first bar mitzvah in space. He started on the plans immediately.

In due course, the spaceship took off with the boy's family and friends (and his rabbi, of course). When they returned, the media was there to find out how the journey had gone.

The first person off the shuttle was the bubbe.

"How was the service, grandma?" asked the reporter.

"OK," she replied.

"And how was David's speech?"

"OK."

"So how was the food?"

"OK."

"Everything was just OK? Why aren't you more enthusiastic? What went wrong?"

"There was no atmosphere."




Early suspicion

Adam stays out very late for a few nights and Eve becomes upset. "You're running around with other women," she tells her mate.

"Eve, darling, you're being unreasonable," replies Adam. "You know you're the only woman on earth for me."

The quarrel continues until Adam falls asleep, only to be awakened by a strange pain in his chest. It's Eve poking him rather vigorously about the torso.

"What do you think you're doing?" asks Adam.

"I'm counting your ribs," replies Eve.




These jokes have been e-mailed to us by friends and associates who, for the most part, have downloaded them. We therefore cannot verify the authorship.