How often these days do we hear about the crisis of Jewish youth? People are freaking out left and right about intermarriage; about the absence of young Jews in synagogues. Is the tribe losing the faith?
In the dimly lit room of dark wood and red table cloths that is Cafe du Nord in San Francisco, the speakeasy vibe makes the so-called crisis seem a little overheated. Sinatra’s blaring and my Lemon Drop is going down smooth.
I’m about to witness “Nice Jewish Girls Gone Bad.” It’s cabaret with some burlesque thrown in, touring across the country, trying to make a buck.
If Jewish burlesque won’t bring out the young Jews, what will?
“Bad” Jews are the flip side of faithful Jews, right? The Bible’s filled with them. I mean, Lot’s daughters weren’t exactly paragons of virtue.
Cafe du Nord fills up quickly, mostly women under 50. It’s funny that an event that teases the spectator with the prospect of Jewish female strippers doesn’t attract more men.
As I tune in to the cocktail chatter around me, I get it. The revue is more of a Hebraic “Sex and the City,” a catharsis for single women who have had it up to here with lousy dates on JDate.
A disclaimer. The whole thing is a little strange to me — I’m viewing it through a gossamer screen of sentimentality. This very room was where my wife and I had our first date. I remember being single as its own kind of crisis. And Cafe du Nord is where that crisis started to come to an end.
The booze is flowing and people want to be entertained. Taking an unscientific survey, I’d say that most of the crowd is descended from Abraham and Sarah.
And so it begins. The Goddess Perlman, a brash young woman in trashy latex, leather and lace, comes out and rallies the troops. The one-liners come fast and crass. “With JDate you get dinner. Craigslist, you get laid.”
“The Goddess” does a nasty showtune about a naughty sexual device and then introduces something completely different: an earnest Jewish folksinger, marginally Jewish and of mediocre quality. The crowd doesn’t mind. They are too busy bonding as Semitic sisters.
I’m still waiting for something bad to happen. Nothing worthy of guilt yet — except I’m starting to feel guilty about wasting my time at the show.
As if on cue, the Goddess Perlman finally brings out something a tad risqué. “Dating in the Old Country.”
It’s an R-rated camp skit. Three women are dressed in shtetl get-ups and out come two women dressed as full-on Chassids, beards, hats, the works. Some cheesy klezmer is blaring and the faux Chassids do that dance like you see on the Chabad telethon. The shtetl girls are giggling but the “Chassids” are getting too friendly. They start to strip and get on down to pasties and a G-string.
This would be beyond blasphemy for an observant Jew, but the crowd goes wild, and I have to admit, it’s pretty good and salacious. But the next act ruins everything. An earnest slam poet, “The Hebrew Mamita.” She recites her serious verses in a kind of singsong that’s grating. Who follows ribald Jewish burlesque with earnest poetry?
You can tell she’s losing the room — people are talking among themselves.
I’m lost in a reverie anyway. The drink’s gotten to me and I’m thinking about the performers from the night of my first date with my betrothed. Actually I’m thinking about how little I paid attention to those performers, and that’s probably how all the single people around me are feeling. They want to have a good time and feel good about being Jewish — without any pressure. They’ll forgive the lazy Kabbalah jokes in order to participate in the second oldest Jewish tradition — making fun of themselves and others. They’re forming a spontaneous community based on Semitic shtick and the opportunity to kvetch about it over cocktails.
The oldest tradition may be worrying about the future of Judaism.
I, for one, head home relieved that the show, and my bachelorhood, are over. I’m also feeling pretty good about being a Jew. As long as there are Jewish events around to complain about, the Hebrews will be as vitally cantankerous as ever.
Jay Schwartz can be reached at [email protected].