Jokes

Age matters

Abe is a lively 75-year-old widower. He is also very rich. One day, he turns up at the Kosher K restaurant in L.A. to meet some of his friends and he has a gorgeous young redhead on his arm. She has sex appeal and listens to Abe's every word with great attention. All his friends think she is as great a catch as they have seen for years.

When she excuses herself to go to the bathroom, Abe's friends rush over to him. "Abe, how did you manage to get such a lovely girlfriend?" they ask.

"Girlfriend?" says Abe, looking upset, "what do you mean girlfriend? Naomi is my wife."

They were shocked. "So how did you persuade Naomi to marry you?"

"I lied about my age," Abe replies.

"Don't tell us that you told Naomi you were only 50!"

"Of course not," Abe says with a smile, "I told her I was 90."




The two questions

Rabbi Cohen gets on BART to go to Fremont. As soon as the doors close, a minister gets up, goes over to the rabbi and says, "Good morning rabbi. I have a question to ask you. Why is it that everybody thinks Jews are smarter than gentiles?"

Rabbi Cohen, who is not up for an argument, says, "I'm sorry, but I am just a simple rabbi and I'm not really able to participate in such a discussion."

But the minister insists. "Look, no harm meant, rabbi, but I have a theory and I need to test it out in the form of a bet. I'll pay you $100 if you can ask me a question that I can't answer. But if I can ask you a question that you can't answer, you must pay me $100."

Rabbi Cohen replies, "But I'm a poor rabbi — I only have $10 on me."

The minister hesitates, then says, "OK, rabbi, it's my $100 against your $10."

The rabbi realizes he can't get out of this so he agrees, but on condition that he asks the first question. The minister agrees.

"OK," says the rabbi, "what animal has scaly skin, the body of a cat, the face of a squirrel, the ears of a mouse, webbed toes and swims under water?"

Surprised, the minister admits that he doesn't know and asks the rabbi for a few more minutes to think about it. The rabbi agrees.

Two minutes later, the minister takes $100 from his wallet and gives it to the rabbi. The minister then asks the rabbi, "So what animal was it?"

Rabbi Cohen replies, "How should I know?" and gives the minister $10.




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