Jokes

The collar

An old Jewish man gets on the subway in New York and sees a priest. He notices the white collar, and decides to ask what it's about.

"Why do you wear your collar backwards?" he asks.

The priest, being polite, responds. "Well, because I am a father."

"I am a father too, but I wear my collar normal."

"Yes," the priest begins, "but I am father of many."

The old Jewish man shakes his head. "I have eight children, and so many grandchildren I don't know most their names, and still my collar isn't backwards."

The priest, agitated, slams his fist in his palm. "Sir! I am the father of hundreds!"

The elderly Jewish man, bewildered, stands to get off the subway, and leans over to the priest: "Mister, maybe you should start wearing your pants backwards."




The old dog

An old gentleman's dear old dog passed away. The man was so attached to his dog that he went to his rabbi and asked if the rabbi would say Kaddish for the canine.

"No," the rabbi said, "we only say Kaddish for humans, not animals. However there is a new congregation two blocks down the street from here. You can go there and ask if they will bless your dog."

The man thanked the rabbi and said, "Do you suppose they would also accept my donation of $75,000?"

"Hold it — come back," said the rabbi. "You didn't tell me the dog was Jewish."




The obituary editor

The obituary editor of the Israel Times Daily is not one to admit his mistakes easily. One day he got a phone call from an irate subscriber. The caller complained that his name had been printed in the obituary column.

"Really?" replied the editor calmly. "And where are you calling from?"




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