Gold for the 50th. Diamonds for the 60th. And blue sapphire for the 65th wedding anniversary, a milestone just around the corner for Julius and Phyllis Blackman.
Precious gems would make a great gift for the San Francisco couple — among the most loved in the local Jewish community — who mark their big day Nov. 4.
On that date in 1939, the two were married. A political storm was gathering in Europe, and Julius wasn’t sure how much time the couple might have should war intervene. So he moved up the wedding date as a hedge against the unthinkable.
It was unthinkable that 65 years later the Blackmans would still be going strong. Both have served the Jewish community for decades, he as a cantor and as director of the Hebrew Free Loan Association; she as librarian at the Bureau of Jewish Education.
And throughout, they were there for each other, thanks to a love that has endured the ages.
“Phyllis was always a strong supporter of what I did,” says Julius, 91, explaining the secret of their marital success. “And I always supported what she did.”
Their daughter Beth Blackman adds: “They were each other’s confidant and adviser, and they still are.”
Both natives of Chicago, the two met at a party. Julius had been raised in an Orthodox home, Phyllis in a Reform household, but the draw was instant, strong and permanent.
“I was attracted to this gal,” says Julius, “especially because she had dimples and a good smile. She was intelligent, warm, and had a good sense of humor.”
After marrying, Julius tried to enlist, but poor vision kept him out of World War II. Instead, he went on to complete his cantorial studies. Phyllis had their first two children, Ellen and Paul, before the family moved in 1947 to Los Angeles, where Julius launched his career as a cantor. Beth, their youngest daughter, was born there.
Julius served as cantor for several notable L.A.-area Conservative congregations. Meanwhile, Phyllis — a journalist by training — edited the United Synagogue Review. Among her duties: editing her own husband’s music column.
The family moved to Palm Springs for a short stint before settling for good in San Francisco. Julius was cantor at Congregation Ner Tamid in the Sunset District for three years before a midlife career change. He became local director of the Hebrew Free Loan Association, a position he held for 28 years. To keep up his vocal chops (and his mitzvah count), he sang the High Holy Days services at San Francisco’s Jewish Home.
Phyllis accepted the head librarian position for the Bureau of Jewish Education, building what had been a small collection into one of the best Jewish libraries in North America.
Over the years, the couple has loved traveling (they’ve been to Israel many times), entertaining and keeping politically active. “We were concerned about fascism,” recalls Julius of their early days. “We’re still interested in world affairs, though things are not too happy these days.”
Time did take its toll here and there. Shortly before the couple’s 50th wedding anniversary, Julius suffered a heart attack. But within weeks he had recovered enough to make it to their anniversary bash.
Phyllis, 88, is not feeling on top of the world these days, but the couple is still active. Julius today is president of the Humanities Foundation, which gives grants to nonprofit organizations.
But as much as the world has changed since 1939, the mutual love and devotion between the Blackmans remains immutable, as daughter Ruth attests.
“They are both interested in what’s going on,” she says. “They read together, go to the opera and they make each other laugh. And they’re always holding hands. I saw them walking to the Stonestown Shopping Center the other day holding hands.”
And though Julius isn’t quite ready to book a banquet hall for their 75th anniversary party, he’s enjoying life with his beshert, one day at a time. “She still has those dimples,” he says, “and that smile.”