For about a year or so, almost everyone, without exception, thought Baruch Nissim Berger was a girl. After all, with the 3-year-old’s straight, long blond locks, it was an easy mistake to make.
His father, Rabbi Stephen Berger, usually didn’t correct them. It was easier not to. The few times he did, however, people were intrigued that such a traditional-looking rabbi had such a little hippie for a son.
They won’t make that mistake any longer.
That’s because on Monday, May 10, on the occasion of Lag B’Omer, Baruch Nissim had his hair cut off. All 12 inches of it.
Observant Jews do not shave their beards or cut their hair during the counting of the Omer, the period between Passover and Shavuot. Weddings are also forbidden, as it is traditionally a period of mourning. But on the 33rd day of the Omer period, or Lag B’Omer, the prohibition on haircutting ends. Not surprisingly, many haircuts take place on that day (it was Sunday, May 9, this year). A ceremonial lock of Baruch Nissim’s hair was cut on the eve of the actual holiday.
When the haircut takes place on a boy’s third birthday, known among observant Jews as an upsherin or upsherinish, it signifies the beginning of a young boy’s education. Among the observant, boys do not cut their hair until they turn 3; at that time, they are given their first tallit and yarmulke.
In some circles, it is also customary for the father to give the boy Hebrew letters dipped in honey, to demonstrate that learning is sweet.
Usually, the boy’s family members take part in the ceremonial haircutting, with each family member giving a bit of money to the boy, who is then to give it to tzedakah. Then, each one does a ceremonial snip, before allowing a barber to finish off the job.
But Baruch Nissim’s family decided to make their son’s hair the tzedakah. They donated it to Locks of Love, an organization that makes wigs for sick children who have lost their hair. Hair donors receive a free haircut at participating salons.
“He had beautiful goldilocks hair to donate,” said his father.
The Bergers, who were living in Israel until recently, heard of the organization when friends in Israel needed its services. “The thing that was amazing to us was that this child, who had leukemia, was from a Chassidic background, and they provided him a wig with payes,” said Berger, who moved to Palo Alto with his wife, Sarah, and three children.
Baruch Nissim’s hair came close to being chopped off last year when he contracted lice, a problem common to Israeli day care centers, Berger said. (It’s also common in U.S. schools, even in upscale neighborhoods.)
At the time, Baruch Nissim’s hair was already very long, and his parents debated cutting it to prevent having to undergo the harsh delousing treatment. But, determined not to forgo the upsherin tradition, they sought out ways to rid their son’s hair of the lice easily. It worked.
Berger said his son understood what his haircut was about and wasn’t the least bit sad to part with his long locks. In fact, he was excited knowing that it was going for a good cause.
“He took it like a pro,” said his father. “He wasn’t scared at all. He was holding on to it.”
Baruch Nissim said, “My hair is going for a shaitel (wig) for a little sick boy,” according to his dad.
“He knew what he was doing, so that made it all that more special.”
Berger moved to the Bay Area to start a pilot program in the fall, forming a network of Jewish clubs in San Francisco’s public schools. Mirroring a successful similar project in Los Angeles, Berger is looking for interested students and faculty. Information: (650) 996-0457.
Locks of Love is a nonprofit that provides hairpieces to sick children suffering from hair loss. Information: www.locksoflove.org or (561) 963-1677.