“I felt like I was becoming a Jewish adult by actually doing something to help. It was an incredible feeling,” says Sarah, now 15. “I was bringing sight to people who hadn’t been able to see for years.”
Sarah participated in the mission organized by the Metrowest, N.J. Jewish Federation to bring friendship, support and supplies to the 3,000 Jews in their sister city, especially the hundreds of elderly poor. She also enjoyed meeting the Ukrainian teenagers with whom she had corresponded in advance and who, she found out, were just like her.
The experience gave Sarah new vision. “It opened her eyes to suffering in the world,” says her mother, Amy. “It taught her that at age 12 she had the power to help. That feeling of empowerment was life-changing. You don’t just see poverty and say, ‘That’s a shame. I hope the government takes care of it.’ It doesn’t take that much effort to do something yourself. It’s your responsibility as a bar or bat mitzvah.”
Sarah’s brother, David, planned to follow in her footsteps. An avid skateboarder, for his bar mitzvah he began planning a skate-a-thon to raise $3,000 for a nonprofit that helps families in need.
The Lipseys’ story reflects the newest trend in b’nai mitzvahs. The theme: putting the meaning — mitzvah — back into b’nai mitzvah.
Many synagogues today require mitzvah projects as part of the b’nai mitzvah curriculum. But the desire to do good often goes beyond that. Teenagers and their parents often describe the impact of their projects as life-changing, eye-opening and empowering.
Danny Siegel, a pioneer in the tzedakah field, calls the trend a “revolution.” As founder and chairman of the Ziv Tzedakah Fund, which has distributed more than $4.5 million to organizations and individuals who work for tikkun olam, Siegel lectures throughout the country on the importance of tzedakah. When kids ask what kind of project they can do, Siegel responds, “What do you like to do? What are you good at? Who do you know?” Whether it’s computers or sports or manicures, she says, there’s surely a mitzvah project lurking within.
Mark Guterman of Millburn, N.J., followed Siegel’s advice. “I wanted to help other kids enjoy what I enjoy: sports,” says Mark, who is entering his freshman year at the University of Pennsylvania. Before his bar mitzvah, he began collecting old sports equipment, and delivered them personally to foster care homes and shelters. He attended garage sales, sent out fliers, made up posters, set up drop-off boxes, and conducted collection drives. An article in “Sports Illustrated for Kids” provoked 200 requests for start-up information from all over country, and soon Operation Sports Stuff grew into a national grassroots organization with 540 branches in 16 states that has donated millions of pieces of equipment.
“The inspiration came from my father, Joel, who died of cancer when I was in 10th grade,” says Mark. His father “always organized blanket and clothing drives for homeless shelters,” says Mark. “Continuing my project is a tribute to his generosity and an honor to his memory.”
His mother, Cathy, a marketing and public relations consultant, says: “This life, where everyone has everything, is unreal. Not everyone has six pairs of cleats in their garage. “
Naomi Eisenberger, Ziv’s managing director, estimates that five years ago she received an occasional call from the parent of an upcoming bar or bat mitzvah seeking advice. Today, she fields four or five calls a week from parents as well as children.
“If we could track the number of pounds of food gathered, children’s books donated, baseball caps painted for people with cancer, stuffed animals collected, or dollars donated, we would be astounded,” she says. “The kids’ creativity is amazing.”
Rabbi Jeffrey Salkin, author of “Putting God on the Guest List: How to Claim the Spiritual Meaning of Your Child’s Bar or Bat Mitzvah” (Jewish Lights), sees “a new willingness to invigorate bar/bat mitzvah with a sense of altruism. People are tired of the culture of selfishness. They want their children’s coming-of-age ceremonies to reflect a higher sense of values.” Many families today, especially if the parents grew up in the ’60s, see service as part of their lives, Salkin explains. “The experience of bar mitzvah should be holistic. It doesn’t end at ‘Ein Keloheinu.'” That doesn’t mean extravagance is a thing of the past, says Salkin, but “there’s no automatic linkage between an extravagant party and a meaningless bar mitzvah.”
David Levitt, now 19, continued his mitzvah project for years after his bar mitzvah. When he was 11, Levitt was inspired by a magazine article about Stan Curtis, the founder of Harvest U.S.A., a food transportation network for agencies that feed the hungry, that accepted donations from the Kentucky school system. David found a local Tampa Bay Harvest chapter, and wondered about the food that went to waste in his own school cafeteria. On his 12th birthday, he addressed a school board meeting. “When most people think of a bar mitzvah,” he said, “they think about a religious service and a party, but there is more to it than that. It’s also important for me to try to do something useful for the community.”
The board approved David’s request: By November 1993, a month before his bar mitzvah, the first 10 schools began participating, donating 55,000 pounds of food in that first year to Tampa Bay Harvest. Today, 110 schools participate, and by David’s high school graduation in 2000, 1 million pounds of food had been donated. With his mother’s help, he even took the project to the state level: In 1998, the legislature passed a bill urging schools, caterers, and restaurants to donate leftover food.