Although friends and family beg them not to go, they’re determined to pursue their studies whether it’s a study-abroad program or the first year at a rabbinical school.
“I’ll have a credibility problem if I have any instance of getting in front of a congregation in the next 50 years and telling them to support Israel if I didn’t support Israel when it’s in trouble,” said Jessica Oleon, 21, a first-year rabbinical student at Hebrew Union College-Jewish Institute of Religion and a U.C. Berkeley alumna.
The Orinda resident’s resolve is even more significant since the rabbinical student was a close friend of 24-year-old Marla Bennett, who died in the July 31 explosion at Hebrew University.
Oleon, who returned Tuesday from Bennett’s funeral in San Diego, admits going to Israel is not an easy decision. The Reform movement for the first time in years gave students the option of studying in America instead.
“When I first heard about Marla, and in the next couple of days afterward, I got so many calls from friends saying, ‘I can’t do this twice,’ and that’s a really awful position to put people in,” she said.
“I understand, because I experienced how it was to be frantic when you’re not hearing from someone. I know what it’s like when a person doesn’t return your calls because she’s not there anymore. I wouldn’t wish that on anyone. That’s what scared me about going. To know what that feels like, and put my friends and family in that position, that’s awful.”
The Hebrew U. attack cut deeply into the sense of security of the Bay Area’s few potential students at Israeli universities. Many of them have already had to leap through numerous bureaucratic hoops following the cancellations of the University of California and California State University systems’ Israeli programs.
“Being in school the past year we tried to stay away from as many public places as we could. We wouldn’t go out to any famous restaurants or popular clubs. But going to school, we assumed it was safe,” said Ora Fried, 23, a second-year medical student at Tel Aviv’s Sackler School of Medicine and a lifeguard at the Osher Marin JCC.
“This time it happened at a university, and that freaked everyone out. A place you assumed was a safe one turned out to not be so. You’re even more nervous everywhere you go. Everywhere you go could blow up,” said Fried, whose parents live in Tiburon.
Berkeley’s Elana Kelman, 28, is slated to enter a yearlong Jewish education fellowship at Hebrew U. next semester while her soon-to-be husband, a rabbinical student, completes a year of study. Kelman already has lived and studied in Israel for four years during various points in her life, but her decision to return is being questioned by a surprise source — her mother.
“We have four kids, and I would say they’ve probably spent 10 years in Israel, total. They’re very comfortable there and very at home there. But I’ve never before been as apprehensive as I am now about them going there,” said Vicky Kelman, a family educator at the Bureau of Jewish Education and the wife of Rabbi Stuart Kelman of Berkeley’s Conservative Congregation Netivot Shalom.
“It’s not just that it’s dangerous; that’s not the main thing for me. What exacerbates that is it feels so hopeless right now. It seems so bleak. Everything is spinning out of control. [But] I have tremendous trust in them to make the right decisions for themselves. I really haven’t tried to pressure them…They are graduate students and they are adults.”
These are feelings Oleon’s father, Glenn, can commiserate with. He admits he’ll be “on pins and needles” for the entire year his daughter is in Israel, but it’s a decision he supports.
“This is her dream, this is what she has to do in order to fulfill her lifelong goal of becoming a rabbi,” said Glenn Oleon, an Oakland lawyer and Orinda resident.
“I realize, in a lot of ways, this is like if your kid decides to become a soldier. It’s something that’s important to them, a commitment they’ve chosen to make and sometimes a price comes with this commitment. Jessica is making a very serious commitment to the rabbinate and the Jewish people. Even though it involves some danger, it’s important to her.”
Oleon’s HUC classmate Val Scott’s decision to study in Jerusalem was questioned by her parents as well — and her grown children.
“My family is very concerned. I’m the single mother of two grown sons and we stay in very close touch,” said Scott, 47, an Oakland resident who has attended Reform Temple Sinai, the Oleans’ synagogue.
“My feeling is that I raised them talking a very good line about keeping your commitments and walking one’s talk,” Scott continued. “And if I meant any of that I need to keep my commitments and walk my talk.”
“My family is used to me making decisions for myself, so I’m facing a different set of stresses than some of the younger students who have parents that are very worried about them. But life is equally precious. I’m certainly not going out of any kind of death wish. I’m looking forward to getting very old.”
While much has been made over the dearth of American students traveling in Israel, 17-year-old Sarita Filler believes Israel’s empty classroom seats offer an opportunity for her and others.
“I had a couple of friends change their plans since the recent bombing. But, on the other hand, it’s very easy to get into any school there,” said the recent Gunn High School graduate. Filler, who attends Palo Alto’s Orthodox Congregation Emek Beracha, will spend a year at Michlelet Esther, a Jerusalem school for women’s Torah study.
The Hebrew University bombing “is a tragedy. I have cousins who go there. But that shouldn’t stop other students from going there. If it’s going to happen there it could happen anywhere. It could happen at Harvard. They were targeting the Jews, and if they know a lot of Jews go to Harvard, they’ll go there. It’s genocide.”
For Jessica Oleon, the bombing was a tragedy that drained much of the joy out of her upcoming trip to Israel.
“Now I’ve lost a friend, and that makes everything different,” she said. “That makes being there difficult. Even while I’m there, I’ll know the places we went together and the things she loved doing. It makes being there harder.”
Still, “If I don’t go, the people who killed Marla win twice. And if it’s in my power to keep that from happening, then I have that responsibility.”