Tisha B’Av reflections, kind acts found online

We are now in the period called the Three Weeks, the traditional time of mourning when we remember the destruction of the Temples and other Jewish catastrophes that have occurred on Tisha B'Av.

Sometimes it may be hard to relate to disasters that happened 2,000 years ago. But the Talmud makes those events feel very relevant when it explains that the Second Temple was destroyed because of "sinat chinam," baseless hatred between Jews. The story is told of a man named Bar-Kamtza who was mistakenly invited to a feast. When the error was discovered, Bar-Kamtza was humiliated and told to leave. In return, Bar-Kamtza became an informant to Caesar. http://www.ou.org/yerushalayim/ tishabav/kamtza.htm

As the Ohr Somayach Web site illustrates, baseless hatred is unfortunately an all-too-modern phenomenon. For example, how many people who feel wronged in an inheritance choose to drag the case through the courts just to make sure the other side gets nothing? http://www.ohr.org.il/special/9av/ tishabav.htm

There are many wonderful sites on the Internet that focus on "ahavat chinam," acts of selflessness and "gemilut chasadim," acts of lovingkindness.

The Adat Shalom Reconstructionist Congregation in Bethesda, Md. has provided guidelines for three of the central acts of gemilut chesed: -- visiting the sick (bikur cholim); hospitality (hachnasat orchim); and comforting the mourner (nichum avelim). As the page says, "Gemilut chesed is, in the final analysis, an individual act and an individual expression of how we view the world in which we live..." http://www.jrf.org/ adatsmd/gemiched.html

For Rabbi Rami Shapiro, gemilut chasadim means putting other people first. But he emphasizes that this "does not mean denigrating yourself or denying yourself happiness. It means taking the other person into account and seeing how what you say and do impacts on those around you." He says that putting the other person first will become natural, but here are some suggestions to get into the swing of things: praise helpful employees to their managers; reply courteously to unsolicited sales calls over the phone; take care of the things that take care of you. Kindness is not simply toward people, but also the things in your life that serve you tirelessly: maintain your car; polish your shoes. www. simplyjewish.com/Pages_ SJ2001/ SJ2001_Philosophy/ SJ_3prac_ahavat_gemilut.html

Alan Feder was forced to be kind -- and he thinks it was a good idea. Feder is a student at Ramaz Upper School in Manhattan where everyone is required to perform 40 "chesed" hours. For Feder that meant volunteering at a Hebrew ulpan for children of immigrants from the former Soviet Union. He found that many students with nine-hour school days wouldn't normally find time to volunteer unless it was required. And many continue to volunteer even after they've completed the required number of hours. http://www.thejewishweek.com/bottom/freshink_content.php3?artid=102

If you would like to be inspired by other acts of chesed, here are some Web sites that you should visit. Mazornet's Chessed World -- http://www.mazornet.com/ jewishcl/chessed.htm -- Chesednet -- http://www.chesednet. org -- and the Ziv Tzedakah Fund -- http://ziv.org/

I will leave the last word on chesed to the "Rabbi Riddle" Web site: Q. You must be 13 to do the mitzvah of tefillin. What must you be to do an act of kindness? A. Willing! http://www.rabbiriddle.org/rabbi-riddle/03-08.htm