Questions can make Pesach seder especially enriching

At our house we combine our Pesach seder with a biblical version of "So, You Want To Be a Millionaire." I'm Regis, of course. The contestants are -- who else -- our family and guests. All the questions deal with Passover. And there are prizes. The easier the question, the smaller the prize.

"Who was Moses?" is worth a small candy to our 4-year-old grandson, Noah.

"Name Moses' mother and father." Now that's not so easy! You'd be surprised by how many of our adult guests are stumped. A correct answer wins a takeout box full of rib roast, the seder entree. My daughter always gets it right. (By the way, she's lovely, unspoken for and cooks like Wolfgang Puck if he was raised in your Bubbe's kitchen.)

But here's one that always stumps the kids. "Why were the Jews in Egypt?" The answer, of course, goes back to the Joseph story. Jacob and Rachel's boy.

Whatta family: four wives, 11 brothers , one sister and 300 goats. Nobody had a room of their own. No wonder the boys were irritable and sold their dreamy brother into slavery. Herein lies a mystery that our sages ponder. Why, they ask, in his Egyptian period, didn't Joseph write home? Why doesn't Joseph the dreamer send word to his father that not only is he well, but he's basking in the light of Pharaoh's admiration? At our seder, we read the letter that the lost son would have written if he'd had time to write...

"Dear Pop, A lot of water has flowed over the Nile cataracts since we've seen each other.

"Pop, I've got the best civil service job in town and two bright-eyed boys, Mannaseh and Ephraim. Naturally, I'm married. The wife -- you might wanta sit down now -- is a lovely Egyptian girl. Pharaoh, himself, gave her to me. What could I say besides 'Thank you, most generous Lord, who bestows riches on this herder of scrawny sheep.' There's not one of our people, you know, in this whole country. And who had time for a 300-mile hike to the singles weekend in Beersheva?

"You know I've always had the gift of prophecy -- remember when you took me to the fair and we won every prize from that guy in the booth who ran the shell game? Don't you know that in the dark of that pit in Dothan I could see the grandeur in Egypt that awaited me. It was the dreams, you know. I've always been visited by angels who whisper to me of the future.

"How my brothers hated those dreams! I was just a kid a wild goat -- who never stopped bleating. But I was as accurate in interpreting my visions of superiority over them as the predictions I made to the mighty pharaoh. Destiny smiled at me. The Midianites sold me -- at a huge markup -- to Potipher, the captain of the Pharaoh's elite guard. I ran his household with honesty and vigor until I fell afoul of his wife -- who desired me. I refused her. She would have had better luck with Judah, who would no more turn down a harlot than refuse to stop for a coin in the dust.

"My seductress lied. 'Sexual harassment,' she shouted. Consequently, they locked me in a jail. I passed the time by translating the dreams of my cellmates. Then one day my warders seized me and dunked me into a large vat of warm water and suds. Was this my execution by soapy water, I thought. Why use such a precious commodity as Nile water -- a knife across the throat was so much cheaper. But no, they hauled me out and pushed me through the doors of the throne room.

"There I was, ex-shepherd boy, current jailbird, standing amid the splendor of the royal presence and surrounded by courtiers in golden robes instead of the cockroaches of my cell. The Pharaoh addressed me directly. His eyes looked into mine and I was not afraid. The King of all kings was in my heart.

"I could see the future of Egypt as clearly as you see the purple hills of Judea from Meggido's Plains. Seven fat cows, seven skinny cows. Not a very difficult dream. As someone more eloquent than I will say some years hence, 'There's a time to reap and a time to sow.' Obvious. And so I told the Pharaoh.

"The Pharaoh listened like a shepherd who strains to hear the rustle of the wolf in the high grass by the fold. He knew I was not alone. And he knew if anyone could manage the salvation of his kingdom, it was I, the shepherd boy from Canaan, befriended by He who could see and reshape the future. Sometimes I think all the adversity -- my brothers' treachery, the false accusation of sexual harassment and the prison time, were preordained so that when famine struck Canaan, I would be here to offer sustenance to our household, Israel.

"So come soon, bring all my brothers and nieces and nephews. You shall live peacefully in the land of Goshen. Your fields shall be full of grazing flocks and your warehouses overflowing with grain. Someday, Father, you and I shall return to Canaan -- the land promised to you by He with whom we made the covenant. We shall return in the hearts and minds of our people."