One woman has developed a fear of BART. Another crosses the Golden Gate Bridge each day wondering if she'll make it to the other side.

One man feels guilty each time he allows the little stuff to get to him, while a woman feels as if she moves through her day like a zombie. Yet another keeps waiting for the other shoe to drop.

And still another's mind alternates between all the lost lives in New York and her own mother's recent recurrence of cancer.

"We all need to find some kind of anchor to hold onto," Yael Moses told employees of a Jewish agency who shared their fears in a downtown office building last week.

In the aftermath of the Sept. 11 attacks on New York and Washington, many have not processed their own reactions. "How do we create safe places to process what is going for you?" she asked.

What happened on Sept. 11 "shook everything up, and we're slowly trying to put things in order and get a little sense of normalcy," said Moses.

Moses is one of seven S.F.-based Jewish Family and Children's Service staffers who have been conducting the workshops throughout the Bay Area.

Jewish Vocational Services, the Bureau of Jewish Education and the Jewish Bulletin of Northern California all have participated.

While some offices held a one-time meeting, others are holding regular meetings with a counselor, for up to eight sessions. The JFCS counseling extends to both Jewish communal agencies (which for the most part, are receiving the service free) and financial and law firms (which are covered by their insurance, through employee assistance programs).

"The need ranges from people who have an immediate degree of separation to several," said Moses. In one financial institution that sought counseling, for instance, employees worked closely with people who died in the World Trade Center attack. Some had family members who were lost.

"It's very immediate in the general community," Moses noted.

But one needn't have known someone who was killed on Sept. 11 to be experiencing tragedy-related anxiety.

After many JVS staffers voiced their fears at a post-Sept. 11 workshop, Elizabeth Toups, its director of programs, requested the workshop.

Like many involved in counseling, JVS staffers are serving clients who are most likely suffering more acutely.

Clients are "already in compromised situations because they're unemployed and disadvantaged," said Toups. "The national tension makes our clients that much more nervous and anxious, and justifiably concerned."

The S.F.-based Bureau of Jewish Education is in a similar situation. Since the attacks happened at the opening of the school year, "we were concerned with everyone so focussed on their work, that they didn't have any place to talk about their own feelings and anxieties," said Robert Sherman, executive director of the BJE.

Moses co-led a session just a few days after the attacks with Vicky Kelman, the BJE's family educator, specifically for BJE educators.

"While we were presenting some kind of objective material, it also became a kind of release valve for a lot of personal pent-up emotions," said Sherman. "By giving them an opportunity to talk about their own emotions and fears, they were in a better position to deal with other parents and students who might have the same concerns."

In such situations, Moses said Sherman was correct in his assumption that those who deal with worried clients need to remember to take care of themselves first.

"It's important for people to figure out where they're at, especially if they have to be available for others," she said. "If other people depend on you, see what you need so you can be there for them. It's not selfish to do so."

While many employees are experiencing all kinds of reactions in relation to the attacks, Moses said, they aren't sure how much they can confide in co-workers without compromising their professionalism.

"What is acceptable to talk about in a professional setting?" she asked.

Additionally, people may feel awkward asking for support since their co-workers -- as well as everyone around them -- need it just as much, a thought that had occurred to Nora Contini, associate publisher of the Jewish Bulletin.

"No matter who you turn to for support, they are all feeling vulnerable," said Contini, who arranged for a JFCS counselor to come to the Bulletin office. "We all need to be kind to each other because we all need support."

"People might be feeling vulnerable and are not necessarily comfortable talking about it, so I thought it couldn't hurt to give people an opportunity," she said.

Moses outlined some of the symptoms people experience during times of heightened stress, from insomnia and fatigue to lack of appetite and difficulty concentrating.

Since terrorist attacks strip people of control over their lives, Moses said it was important for people to keep to their usual routine as best they could.

She also recommended physical activity, as well as doing things one enjoys.

"Exercise is one of the best things you can do for yourself," she said.

She also did not rule out taking medication temporarily, as well as seeking further help.

And, she said, sometimes denial could be a good thing. "Defenses are not a bad word."

What is important to remember, she said, is that everyone deals with stress differently.

"The coping mechanisms of one person can be so different than someone else's, that those two sometimes have a problem being in the same room together," said Moses.

She pointed out that some who attend these sessions may not speak. But they often feel that others echo their own reactions.

"Some people are up front with their personal stuff, and some are very private," said Moses. "But that supervisors and managers are present and speak up makes it safe for the staff to say what they feel, and that's wonderful."