Larkspur writer views sister’s illness as ‘gift from God’

Suzanne Gold's family is Jewish.

So imagine Gold's surprise when her sister said she had spoken with Jesus.

The scenario was actually far from comical. Her sister is schizophrenic.

In her book "Daddy's Girls," Gold, a Larkspur author and psychologist, presents a fictionalized account of her family and the impact of her psychotic sister.

It is a bittersweet story of love and acceptance that describes a spiritual purpose to mental illness.

For the character of Cherie Krazny -- based on Gold's sister -- that purpose is to teach an otherwise apathetic family to love one another. The character, who is institutionalized after developing schizophrenia, learns her mission early on, during a pre-birth conversation with God.

"God tells her she'll be crazy and that she will be hospitalized, but at the same time she will be doing a tremendous service for her family," said Gold. "She'll teach them to expand their capacity to love, even in difficult circumstances."

This idea of a spiritual purpose is also based on Gold's view of her real-life sister (whose name she preferred to keep anonymous).

Because of her dual perspectives as a psychologist and as a blood relative, it took Gold a long time to "deal with my own grief and guilt" over her sister's diagnosis.

As a psychologist, she struggled with the intellectual side of the illness. As a sister, she struggled with the emotional.

She looked deeply into her studies of Eastern philosophies, transpersonal psychology -- which deals with the soul -- and the Judaic idea of "divining sacredness in everyday life."

Eventually, she concluded that "mental illness is a gift" from God.

"As bad as my sister's life looks and as painful as it is to my family, I know there is some deeper meaning to her schizophrenia," said Gold. "Her spirit is teaching us through the medium of her illness. It has taught us tolerance and an expanded connection to love."

In "Daddy's Girls," the story is told from three points of view: that of the mother, Ruth; Cherie; and older sister Allison, based on Gold herself. It switches back and forth among the three narrators with short vignettes.

Many of the situations, said Gold, are loosely based on actual experiences, like her sister's visions of Jesus.

"Those delusions always really bugged my mother," said Gold. "Just like Ruth says in the book: 'She's Jewish. Where did this come from?'"

Ruth's connection to Judaism is also similar to Gold's real-life mother, who comes from an Orthodox family. Her real-life father's non-observance, on the other hand, led to "a lot of conflict over religious practice" in the Gold household.

As a result, the reader sees a fictional account of a Chanukah evening at the Krazny house that is "far from heartwarming."

Yet, as far as Gold is concerned, the topic of mental illness transcends Judaism and other religious barriers. "Insanity," she said, "is universal, really."

In fact, she noted, the surgeon general says one in five Americans will develop mental illness at some point in their lives. "Still there's such a stigma, that no one wants to talk about it.

"But, getting it out in the open is the first step to dealing with it."

Nowhere is that more evident, said Gold, than at her public readings of "Daddy's Girls."

"After I started telling my story, it seemed that my readers trusted me enough to tell me theirs," she said, noting that she often corresponds with her readers through her Web site, http://www.suzannegold.com

"A lot of people can relate to the emotional tone of the book."